Essential Relationship Advice for Men: Building Strong Connections

Essential Relationship Advice for Men: Building Strong Connections

Women’s emancipation and fast-evolving ethics leave many guys confused when it comes to courting a woman. What should they do? What should they say? Is it okay to be old-fashioned? Finally, how can you make the woman you’re in a relationship with happy? 

If you’re a man asking yourself all those questions – you’re in luck! Today we’re going to share the best relationship advice to help you build a healthy and long-lasting relationship with the woman of your dreams. 

Key Principles of a Healthy Relationship 

Being in a loving relationship with a partner who understands you and makes you happy is a great feeling. But it’s not always easy to build a romance like that. One of the reasons some relationships fail is that men and women view many things inherently differently. 

Or better yet, every human views the world a little bit differently. In a sense, a romantic relationship is the same as any other relationship, be it a business partnership, a friendship, or a family connection. 

Here is the universal relationship advice for guys that you can pay attention to regardless of your romance’s stage, type, or format.

Have Open and Honest Communication 

It feels like satire at this point to ask men to contribute to open and honest communication, but a lot of them could benefit from doubling down on this recommendation.

Everything starts with a conversation. You need to be able to open up to your partner, to share your feelings, frustrations, dreams, fears, and concerns. It is incredibly hard to date someone who doesn’t really talk about themselves and is not willing to discuss anything of meaning. 

Many women eventually grow frustrated with emotionally unavailable partners and that ruins the emotional and physical intimacy, which, in turn, makes men even more closed-off. As you can imagine, this dynamic doesn’t end well.

So, in order to avoid the disaster, talk to your partner! And not just the shallow stuff, but have actual discussions and real conversations.

• Talk about your feelings, especially if something makes you very emotional.
• Practice sharing intimate thoughts with your partner, even if you’re very shy. Take baby steps, one day at a time. 
• Don’t turn down your girlfriend's attempts to discuss difficult topics, be it about your couple, world events, or anything else. 

Practice Empathy and Understanding 

Some men struggle with putting themselves in other people’s shoes. If you feel like you’re one of them, here is what you can do to work on it:

• Acknowledge societal pressure. No matter where you live, society has raised you with specific expectations of what’s okay and what’s not for a man to think, to do, and to be. It’s not always good or bad per se, but it’s undeniable. We’re all products of our environments, and once we realize that, and look at ourselves from a different angle, we are able to start to move away from these societal pressures and live a more free life. For men, this often means stepping away from radicalized patriarchal views on the roles of men and women in this world. 
• Make peace with changing expectations. While women in the US, and in many other countries in the world, were going through emancipation and liberation, the male part of the population mostly kept living and thinking like their predecessors did 50 years ago. This dissonance causes a lot of confusion for both sexes, and the sooner men (and women too) recognize and accept that our roles and responsibilities are changing, particularly in the areas of parenting, housekeeping, and workplaces, the easier it will be to cope with these changes and support the opposite sex in the transition. 
• Work on your listening skills. Put your phone away, stop daydreaming, make eye contact, don’t interrupt her until she’s done talking. Be an active and engaged listener. If you treat your woman like a background radio, you’ll not be able to form a true partnership. This will remain a transactional relationship. 
• Practice imagining yourself in someone’s place. For example, if a woman is talking about reproductive rights with you, lead by thinking how you would feel if you were a woman in a world where female body autonomy is under constant threat. It can be difficult to put yourself in other people’s shoes at first, but you’ll get better at it with time. 
• Share your vulnerabilities. Practice makes perfect, and a great way to practice empathy and understanding is by highlighting your own emotions and feelings. You don’t have to trauma-dump on your partner right away, but rather start little by little. Eventually, you’ll get to a point where you can share most things openly without fear of judgment. 
• Learn more about emotional intellect (EI) and empathy. In this day and age, if you don’t know something, it’s only because you don’t want to. No matter how you like to consume content, the format that you prefer is definitely out there, and you’ll find plenty of materials on EI and empathy. 
• Read fiction books. This tip may sound odd, but reading fiction is a known trick to developing empathy. This has something to do with living vicariously through the stories you’re consuming. Give it a try! Especially if you’re one of the people who prefers to only read non-fiction. You’ll be in for a treat. 
• Travel to new places and meet people outside of your typical circle. Exposing yourself to new locations and people who are very different from you is life-changing. Often, we get stuck in our own heads and forget that multiple perspectives exist. Shaking things up in our daily lives helps us remember that we all come from different backgrounds, and we may view the world differently. 

Why is practicing empathy important? Being with someone means supporting them, making compromises, and understanding their perspective. Otherwise, you’ll struggle to build a genuine connection. You’ll simply be sex partners with some common interests. 

And perhaps that’s exactly what you both want, and that’s also fine. But even so, you need empathy in order to be able to do that too. 

Balance Independence and Togetherness 

One of the secrets to successful relationships is finding the balance between being your own person and staying together with your lover. 

• Agree on relationship boundaries ** and respect each other’s preferences.
• Have your own friends and interests. Crossovers of social circles can happen and are very welcome, but it’s better for you both to have a life of your own where you can spend time apart from your special person but still be in the company of like-minded people. 
• Plan for quality time together. Not every night you hang out needs to be life-changing and meaningful, but don’t become that couple who only Netflix-and-chills together 24/7. This is a shortcut to morphing into a single codependent unit where you’re not really enjoying each other’s company, but also not really doing anything apart either.

Early Relationship Advice for Guys 

Ah, those early days of the relationship! You’re in good spirits no matter what, every problem seems small and insignificant, life is great. 

Those first weeks you spend together define your relationship dynamic down the line. Your main goal here (besides figuring out if you guys are compatible) is to set the correct tone to build a strong foundation with your girlfriend. 

Drop the macho act 

There is no need for you to pretend to be someone you’re not. The real you hold a lot of value, don’t be afraid to show your authentic side. Not only is it much healthier to be yourself in a relationship, but it’s also just impossible to play pretend in the long run. Your lover will figure you out, and it might feel like a betrayal when she understands you’ve been essentially lying about who you are.

Pace yourself

Yes, you really like her. No, don’t suggest you move in together two weeks after you’ve met or propose a month later. Rushing through relationship stages is a bad idea 9 times out of 10. Pick up a comfortable pace and enjoy moving through the milestones slowly and steadily. Forcing commitment too soon can actually damage your partnership, even if you think you’re strengthening it. 

Set your intentions

Whatever it is you’re dating for (love, finding a lifelong partner, a quick fling, etc) – the sooner you figure out your Why, the better. And once you know what you want, be sure to communicate it. Many women will match your current preferences, just don’t mislead those who want something else. 

Plan dates to remember

A memorable date is not always the most extravagant one. Rather, it’s a date where you two get to open up, lean into your interests, and do things together. Take her to dinner and/or movies, but also take her to a class where you can create something, like pottery. Also, if she mentions an activity or an event, such as this cute art gallery in the town next to yours, why not drive her there next weekend? Make it a surprise mini-road trip. 

Watch out for incompatibilities

A perfect woman may not be perfect for you if there are major incompatibilities. For instance, you want a big family, and her not want kids ever. Your liking to live downtown and her plan to move to a farm in 5 years. 

Not all incompatibilities are a deal breaker, of course, but don’t ignore something big just because you really like this girl. At least, talk about those things as they can snowball into a disaster and cause you to break up later if you get serious and start thinking about settling down. 

First relationship advice for guys

If you’re in your first-ever relationship – we’re so excited for you! 

Follow your instincts, be genuine, and enjoy the process. 

• Focus on building trust and emotional intimacy. 
• Learn to compromise and resolve conflicts calmly in a sustainable fashion.  
• Maintain self-identity in a relationship – don’t compromise your values for someone. 
• Pay attention to your both’s relationship boundaries. 
• Be supportive, whether it’s a celebration of achievements or going through a tough time.
• Don’t treat each other as a given. Remember that you’re both special and deserve special treatment. 
• Apologize when you make a mistake and move on, don’t overthink it. 

Long-Distance Relationship Advice for Guys 

Here is the best relationship advice for men who are currently in a long-distance relationship or are considering one.

• Prioritize communication, don’t let your separate lives and being tired stand in the way of keeping in touch. 
• Make time for virtual dates and shared activities. Talking on the phone is important, but you can also watch movies, cook and eat, collect puzzles, etc over Zoom. 
• Plan visits and keep them regular, even if that means constantly scrolling airline websites looking for cheap flights. 
• Build trust despite the distance. Be reliable, do what you say, and be transparent about anything that might be perceived as shady on your end. 
• Keep the romance alive with small gestures. Send flowers to her in another city or order her favorite sweets at her office.  
• Manage expectations. Adapting to long distances can be a challenge. Talk to each other about expectations, reality, and the ways to deal with any dissonance.
• Support each other’s goals and dreams. When you’re far away from each other, that’s when you need to feel your lover’s support the most. Make sure they know you believe in them and you’re proud of them. 

Ps – we talk about online dating tips for men in a separate guide. Make sure to check it out if you’re using a dating app right now to find a partner. 

Common Mistakes Men Make in Relationships 

There are many mistakes men (and women, too) make in different stages of the relationship. Here are some common ones to avoid. 

1. Making your dating profile bio about her. Enough with the requirements and chores list in your bio! No woman wants to read “She must cook and be hot” in your profile. Talk about yourself, share what you like, your passions, and the way you look. 
2. Ignoring her emotional needs. The ‘let me ignore it until it goes away’ attitude towards your girlfriend’s issues is cruel. Be there for her, even when you’re tired and you’d rather chill and watch something on TV instead. 
3. Avoiding difficult conversations. Nobody likes to discuss problems and issues, but it needs to be done. The longer you put the talk off, the more painful it’s going to end up being. 
4. Ignoring self-care and personal growth. Men face a lot of competition these days when it comes to dating. The biggest competitor that’s on the rise right now – is the peace of mind that a single woman has. If she is evolving, and you stay stagnant for years, she will outgrow you and have to leave you, as there won’t be much in common between you two anymore. 

How to Grow as a Partner and Person 

If you want to grow in a relationship and individually, then you’re already halfway there. Intention is the most important part. Next, embrace the forever-learner attitude and adapt self-improvement as a lifetime journey, not a short-term sprint. 

Watch out for learning opportunities in your career, academically, and in terms of emotional intellect. Talk to your partner, friends, and family about things that you’re working on right now, such as mindfulness in dating, process their advice, and try new approaches to familiar things. 

Lastly, embrace your growth together with your partner. You can have your own journey on the side, but make sure you move forward together too.