Signs She Still Loves You: Will Your Ex Come Back?

Signs She Still Loves You and How to Know If She’ll Come Back

Relationships can be complicated, and some of them result in breakups. Some breakups, however, are not permanent, and couples manage to get back together after a while.

It’s hard to really understand when you’re in the midst of the situation where you stand and what possible options you have for the future. Especially if you keep getting mixed messages. There are signs she hates you then likes you again.

If you’re confused and not sure what to do and what is going on, we’re hoping that today’s article on signs that she still loves you and hints on whether she might be back will help clear up the situation.

Signs She Hates You but Then Likes You Again

Sometimes women (and men) have fluctuating feelings towards their ex-partners, and one day they act like the ex-lover still means a lot to them, but then the next day they’re cold and distant again.

Conflicting feelings are a normal part of human experience, but it’s confusing when you’re on the receiving end of it.

Why a Woman’s Feelings Might Fluctuate

When you break up with a person you’ve dated, it always results in a waterfall of emotions. You’re hurt, you miss them, you can’t believe it really happened, and your days, all of a sudden, are so different from what they used to be.

For women, there are so many factors that go into how they feel, here are just a few main points why you may be getting the signs she's not really done with you.

Conflict of nostalgia and reality. Whenever something ends in our life, good or bad, we tend to push out the negative memories and romanticize what is “lost”. The same works with relationships too. The boyfriend she had may have been a monster in disguise, and she finally managed to find the strength to get away, yet her brain kept on reminding her about the sweet moments when he was kind and gentle. Then the brain fog is cleared and she sees things for what they are again and remembers why the breakup happened. That’s why her affection is followed by a distant attitude.
Emotional confusion makes her act hot and cold because there are still feelings somewhere there for her boyfriend, but she knows that calling it quits is a necessary and right move. That’s why she tries to stay away, but her heart is longing for her ex.
Not wanting to be alone is another common reason why someone will be sending mixed messages. It’s not that she wants you, it’s just she doesn’t want to be on her own. That’s a valid fear, especially if she’s been in a long-term relationship. It’s weird to be alone all of a sudden after you share your life with a partner.
Guilt for causing pain is something that happens when a woman initiates a breakup. Although she doesn’t want the guy anymore, she doesn’t want him to suffer, so she’s showing warmth sometimes out of fear of breaking his heart even further by going no-contact.
External influences, such as friends, coworkers, and family, may affect how she handles the breakup and treats you. If the breakup was well-justified, then naturally her inner circle will try to do their best to keep her away.
Power and the need to control can also influence her behavior. It’s not that she cares about the ex, but rather she wants to be involved with his life and have control over what he does, who he dates, etc. Some people do it subconsciously without even realizing this pattern, but it’s a toxic thing to do anyway.

It’s also possible that she regrets the breakup and is testing the waters to see if there’s still a possibility for you two to get back together. That would be the best scenario for you if you’d like to get her back, so watch out for additional comments or signals to see if that’s a possible reason why her treatment of you is inconsistent.

However, please don’t get your hopes up too much, as there are plenty of other explanations as to why she’s like that, and it might not be so positive-looking for you.

Key Behavioral Clues That Show She’s Torn

If you want to confirm that she is, indeed, torn and unsure of what to do next, pay close attention and try to spot the following behavioral clues.

Checks in with you frequently
Shows signs of jealousy
Touches you or leans close
Sabotages having a “final talk”
Tries to keep things open-ended
Comes to you for emotional support
Brings up your shared past a lot
Gets defensive if you confront her
Asks you about your current dating life
Jokes about rekindling things

That’s quite a list! If we had to choose the main giveaways, we’d say her mentioning the past or possible future and not wanting to have a closure are the main giveaways that she is still hoping to get back together at some point.

How Do You Tell If a Woman Still Loves You?

When a woman is not over you, she will hint at that and show signs she is still in love with you. You just need to know what to pay attention to.

Someone who’s in love will be kind and caring and will want to do things for you to bring you comfort and happiness. She may volunteer to help you with some tasks or chores, ask about your parents who she knows are sick, bring you something home-cooked to eat, or remind you of important things that you had planned that she knows about, such as an appointment to the dentist, etc.

Whenever you come around, a woman who still loves you will visibly change. Her eyes will lighten, and she’ll be more energized, happy, and cheery. She’ll also look for ways to touch you, whether to hug you when you come or go, touch your arm during a conversation, or pretend to brush something off your clothes.

If she sees you with a different woman, however, or if you mention your dates, she will turn cold, distant, and even passive-aggressive. Naturally, she loves you and wants you back, so she’ll be jealous and annoyed to hear about some other women roaming around.

How She Acts Differently Around You vs. Others

Another dead giveaway that a woman still loves you is that she’ll treat you differently than others. You’ll get more of her attention, she’ll be laughing at your jokes even if she’s in a bad mood, and she’ll probably be a bit nervous and self-conscious too.

Also, some mutual friends may notice that she’s being odd and tell you about it. If they do – better believe them as it’s always easier to spot such things when you’re not directly involved with someone.

How to Know If Your Ex-Girlfriend Will Come Back

There are specific signs that indicate that your ex-partner may choose to come back together.

The main ones include keeping in touch, bringing up good memories, anecdotes, and events that you shared in the past, asking about your current love life, and especially criticizing people you date.

How Can You Make Your Ex-Girlfriend Want You Back?

If you’re wondering how you can make your ex-girlfriend want you back, know that there are ways to win her over once again.

Work on yourself. Self-improvement is a good thing in general, and it’s an excellent way to try to win someone back. It’s most likely that your girlfriend told you multiple times about the traits or patterns in you that she’d like to change, so it’s time you act on it and make yourself a better human being.
Work on your communication skills. Learn to control emotions better, discuss difficult topics calmly and collectively, and show overall maturity.
Give her a bit of space. Sounds counterintuitive, but not having you in her face all the time is actually good. He’ll have the room to breathe and think clearly. Surely, she may come to the conclusion that she doesn’t want you, but she will decide so anyway later, so don’t be afraid to leave her alone for a while.
Keep your life active. Meet up with friends, work on personal projects, try hobbies, work out, and live a full life. Humans are naturally attracted to successful and fulfilled people who have a lot going on.

Signs She’s Not Over Her Ex

Look, if you have to research and look for signs she's not over her ex, then she probably isn’t over him.

Women who truly moved on don’t waste their breath on past partners, and when they do mention them, it’s usually a neutral comment that is only brought up because it made sense in the conversation.

A woman who is still thinking about her ex will act differently, for example:

Keep bringing him up even when you are talking about something unrelated
Compares you to him with her friends and to your face
Stays in touch with him on social media, chats, and calls, or meets in real life
Gets emotional and defensive when you mention him
Hold on to gifts from him or things they got together
Comments on his new relationship with strong emotions

Last but not least, if your partner is emotionally unavailable and distant, and she’s not trying to get closer together and build a future, but rather goes with the flow, this may be an indication of her treating you like a rebound or not caring about you so much because she still has her ex in her heart.

When to Move On vs. When to Keep Hope

It’s possible that you’ll be so busy fishing for signs that she will come back that you miss the bigger picture.

Not every relationship is worth salvaging, even if your current feelings tell you otherwise.

If you guys broke up for a valid reason, such as wanting different things in the future, cheating, or general incompatibility, then it might be smarter to really move on and find someone better.

Also, even if nothing particularly bad happened, but you’re simply not that great together, that’s another reason not to chase the ex-girlfriend. Moving on can be the healthiest thing you can do post-breakup. Find the best dating app to fit your dating goals and look for new people to hang out with and fall in love, or stay single for a bit to regroup and focus on yourself.

It’s best for you to move on if:

She’s trying to block communication and stay away
She’s talking about clear boundaries that indicate staying broken up
The things she says and does don’t match
You’re always emotionally drained and life is sucked out of you

You might keep your hopes up if:

She’s reaching out first and vents or opens up to you
She may be distant sometimes, but she’s affectionate at other times
She’s always asking you about dating life
You notice that she tries to be in the same space as you

FAQs

How do I know if she’s just being nice or actually interested?

It’s really hard to spot the difference sometimes. If you’re unsure how to know if your ex-girlfriend will come back or is just being nice, watch out for how consistent she is with her effort to reach out and pay attention to you. If you’re the one initiating contact all the time, and she’s being nice to you when it happens, then she probably just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.

Is it worth trying to get back with an ex who’s uncertain?

That depends on how serious you are about her. Usually, it’s better not to attach yourself to people who aren’t so sure about you. First of all, why would you want to be with someone who’s not crazy about you? Secondly, she’s probably confused about what she wants, and there will be a lot of emotional turmoil if you get back together.