Signs of an Emotionally Mature Man: When Do Guys Fully Mature?
These days more women than ever realize that dating a man doesn’t only bring you joy but also comes with a liability. Gaslighting, manipulation, weaponized incompetence, and emotional unavailability are just a few of the worrying behavior patterns that a woman can come across if she’s not careful in dating.
Today we’re going to uncover the topic of an emotionally mature man.
We’ll talk about:
- Signs of maturity in a man
- What makes a man fully emotionally mature
- When do men fully mature
- Whether the maturity of a man improves over time
Mature males are the best!
If you’re looking to find a stable, reliable, and compatible partner, keep on reading our guide and sign up on a healthy dating site to improve your chances of finding an emotionally mature person to build a loving relationship with.
What Is Emotional Maturity in a Man?
First things first, what does it really mean for a man to be emotionally mature?
Someone who’s emotionally mature is constructive in everything they do. They’re hands-on with issues they face, they have goals and follow through with them, they prefer honesty and transparency in their romantic lives, and they’re in touch with their feelings.
Why emotional maturity matters in relationships
Emotional maturity isn’t always the top priority in relationships, although we believe it should be!
When you like someone, especially if you have a strong crush on them, the urge to ignore potential red flags is huge. It’s also possible that you don’t even realize that they’re immature and it’s a problem because you like them so much that all the worrying signs go right over your head.
If there’s a chance that this is how you deal with emotional (im)maturity in dating, we seriously recommend you reconsider! Here’s why.
- Mature lovers are easier to build a relationship with. They communicate like adults, are in touch with their feelings, and they can listen to what you have to say without immediately turning defensive. Sounds nice, doesn’t it?
- They’re solution-oriented. Whatever happens in their life, they’re much less likely to sink into self-pity, blame everyone around them, and do nothing. Instead, they’ll be actively looking for ways to make the most of the situation and work out a solution that will satisfy everyone involved.
- Mutual and continuous growth is a desired process for them, not something they have to agree to grudgingly because their girlfriend made them do it. Romantic relationships are super critical for our own lives. The person who’s by your side has a tremendous influence on how you live your life. If you want to be successful, achieve your goals, and constantly get better, you definitely need a mature man by your side.
Mature men can be trusted. They’re accountable and they’re able to build stronger bonds. They’re also consistent, so you know what to expect from them.
If you ditch a mature guy and end up with his immature counterpart, you’ll be up for an unstable ride full of misunderstandings and struggles. And why would you want that for yourself?
When Do Men Fully Emotionally Mature?
If you’re dating and struggling to find a guy who matches your mature energy, the natural question arises – when do they actually grow up and become emotionally mature?
At what age does a man fully emotionally mature?
Unfortunately, there’s no magical age when all men wake up mature. A lot depends on how this particular man was raised, the way he’s been treated by different people in his life, the events and traumas he went through, and his character.
There are patterns though and many examples of research online will tell you that you should wait at least until their late 20s to expect them to be emotionally mature.
Factors influencing the maturity of a man
Anything and everything can influence a man’s maturity, but the core factors are:
- The character he’s born with
- Challenges he goes through in life
- Personal failures
- Meaningful relationships
- Whether he’s accountable or not
When do guys mature compared to women?
Girls are famously believed to mature faster than boys, and there’s an issue with that.
Because do girls really mature faster or are they forced to do so compared to boys who are allowed to be mischievous kids for longer?
The pressure of societal expectations on women’s maturity is a conversation for another time though.
For now, we know that women are believed to be fully emotionally mature by the time they’re 23 to 24 while men, on average, wait until 28 to 30 years for this to happen.
Besides societal expectation, another possible reason for delayed emotional maturing among men is the fact that they’re encouraged to take risks and experiment more. And when you take risks and treat everything as a game, becoming emotionally mature is more complex and takes longer to happen.
Characteristics of a Mature Man
There are different variations of what a mature man looks like.
For instance, a man who’s not willing to commit and build a long-term relationship can be immature. On the other hand, if he knows that about himself, lives his true life, and doesn’t pretend to want other things when dating, – then that’s peak maturity.
Here are the key traits of a good emotionally mature man that most people would agree with.
- Integrity. He’s honest about his wishes, values, and goals. He keeps his word and sticks to his truth even when it’s easier to do the wrong thing.
- Responsibility. There are few things in a man that are as sexy as him being responsible, i.e., taking ownership of his words, commitments, and actions.
- Self-awareness. A man who is aware of his traits, behavior patterns, and emotions is a maturity-man superhero.
- Empathy. Being kind to others and the ability to understand what they’re going through and how they’re feeling.
- Stability. He’s not fazed by any little challenge or issue, he’s able to deal with things calmly. He controls his emotions and doesn’t let the emotions control him.
- Learning enthusiast. Self-improvement is not just a buzzword but a crucial element of any mature human being’s life. A man who has a growth-oriented mindset will seek ways to learn new skills, change himself for the better, and encourage and support you on your self-improvement journey as well, instead of sabotaging you as many insecure partners do.
- Good communicator. It’s one thing to understand something about yourself, and a whole other skill to be able to communicate like an emotionally mature man. If he’s a good listener, knows how to express himself, and is able to argue sustainably, – congrats! You found a mature gem.
- Quiet confidence. There’s a difference between being confident and arrogant, and the first type belongs to mature men.
How mature males handle conflict and communication
There are right and wrong ways of fighting, and the difference between a mature and an immature man in conflict is striking.
Mature men:
- Keep their emotions under control even when they’re really upset.
- Step back if they feel that they’re about to say or do something that will be too hurtful.
- Listen to what you’re saying and really process your words before responding.
- Maintain a respectful tone instead of being aggressive.
- Take responsibility and acknowledge when they’re wrong.
Last but not least, arguably the king of the signs of an emotionally mature man in conflict is the focus on resolving an issue.
Too often people fight just to fight, and they’re not seeking the solution. Instead, they shift blame, dodge responsibility, and try to hurt their partner. An emotionally mature man will always do his best to avoid toxic patterns in fights, compromise, accept the blame, and look for ways to move on and reinstate peace and quiet in the relationship.
Signs of Maturity in a Man
Perfect people don’t exist, and you’ll probably not find a man who is perfectly mature and stable, but that’s alright.
None of us can confidently say that we’re 100% mature, but as long as we possess a number of emotionally mature traits and work on improving ourselves, it’s enough.
When you’re dating, look for the following signs in the men you come across.
A mature man:
- Respects others and treats them well
- Respects himself and refrains from toxic patterns
- Keeps the promises he makes
- Values deep bonds and strong relationships
- Owns up to his mistakes
- Learns from his previous wrong-doings
- Expresses his thoughts and feelings openly
- Handles anger and disappointment with grace
- Focuses on personal goals and self-improvement
Differences between a mature and immature partner
Sometimes it’s pretty obvious when a man is immature, and at other times they’re really hard to spot even if you have previous experience with their kind.
First of all, look at how a man communicates. Is he open and honest? Is he respectful? If a man is getting defensive at any sign of conflict and avoids dealing with issues overall, then he’s 100% immature. Similarly, the way he handles conflicts will tell you a lot about him. Someone who’s yelling instead of talking calmly and gives you the silent treatment instead of looking for solutions, then he’s not a mature one.
Loyalty is another big giveaway. Regardless of the type of relationship you’re in, a mature man will build trust and be honest with you. An immature guy, in turn, will be secretive, get jealous a lot, and his words will not align with his actions.
Another differentiator is respect. Everyone’s feelings, emotions, goals, and boundaries matter. An immature guy will disagree with that though and either be dismissive or try to sabotage you and make you feel bad, especially in front of others.
Last but not least, if your potential boyfriend prefers to ignore his problems or runs away from them, then you should run away from him! Mature boys know how to face a challenge and they’ll do their best to find solutions and move on with their lives.
Emotional Maturity for Men: Can It Be Learned?
Now, the question of a century – do they mature? Are they prone to emotional evolution over time or should you give up on them as lost causes?
The answer is Yes and No.
When it comes to personal development of any kind, so much depends on the person in question. If they’re open to the idea of turning into an emotionally mature man, and, more importantly, are eager to take action, then there’s definitely hope.
Yet, if they’re not particularly excited about the idea of changing anything about the way they think, act, and date, then perhaps you shouldn’t waste your breath.
Mature Person Checklist
To finish off strong, here is a quick self-assessment on emotional maturity for men.
- Do you usually react to things impulsively or calmly?
- Are you able to admit you’re wrong or have to blame someone else for it?
- Are you able to express your feelings clearly or do you lash out?
- Do you support your partner or try to humble them and discourage change?
- Do you handle rejection well or overreact?
- Can you be trusted or do you not keep your word?
Once you answer those questions, you’ll intuitively know which group you belong to.
Important: If you find yourself among emotionally immature folks, don’t get too upset.
You can always work on yourself and try to become a better person, change your patterns, and learn from mistakes. As long as you’re motivated and ready to take action, you can turn into a king of emotional maturity and leave all the bad traits and habits behind.