How to Build Successful Short-Term Relationship
Not everyone wants or can have a long-term relationship, for example, if they’re moving to a new state for six months and know that they’ll have to go back once this time period is up. Short-term relationships are not less than just because they are not extended over many years.
Today we’re going to look deeper into short-term relationship meaning, the benefits and aspects of this format of dating, and go through the tips to help you build a successful short-term romance should you want to pursue it.
What Is a Short-Term Relationship?
First things first, let’s look at the short-term relationship definition.
Short-term dating refers to the type of romantic relationship where partners don’t plan on building a long-term commitment and, for example, starting a family, but rather want to have someone in their life for a limited time period.
Key Features of Short-Term Relationships
There are a number of features that distinguish a short-term relationship.
- Casual, no-pressure dynamic.
- Fun and a good time is a number one priority.
- A strong sense of independence.
- Less involvement in your partner’s world, i.e. dreams, plans, problems.
- Only short-term planning for the two of you.
- Low barrier to exiting the relationship.
Reasons to Choose Short-Term Relationships
There are a variety of cases when a short-term romance may be expected and desired as opposed to the alternative.
- You’re on vacation and want to have a good time while you’re at it.
- You’ve been temporarily relocated, and you crave intimacy in the new city.
- You’re not ready for a long-term committed relationship.
- You’re more after sex than the relationship aspect for the time being.
- You’re an exchange student in a new country for a semester or two.
Short-Term Relationship vs Long-Term Relationship
It’s commonly understood that short-term and long-term relationships are polar opposites, so to speak. This isn’t completely true though.
Yes, they differ in the widest range of aspects, but they’re also similar in other factors, such as:
- Desire to have an intimate connection with someone.
- Expectations to be treated and to treat others with empathy, care, and respect.
- Being open and honest about each other’s plans, dreams, fears, and goals.
However, it’s undeniable that they are pretty different.
Short-term dating, for instance, involves far less commitment and virtually no long-term planning. Naturally, you can’t be expected to stay super loyal and focused on the person that you won’t be seeing after a few weeks or months.
Also, there is far less stability in short-term romances. Understandably, both partners are in the relationship only for a short while, so they can’t fully rely on each other. There’s no shared future for them unless they become a real-life Hollywood romantic drama.
Communication is a bit different as well for those two relationship types. With a healthy short-term romance, couples usually explicitly acknowledge their situation which encourages them to be more direct with each other and avoid beating around the bush and playing games that sometimes happen during regular relationships. Also, the topics that short-term couples discuss are often on a more light-hearted side, as they’re only really looking to have a good time with each other.
When the time comes to break up, short-term love birds are more likely to end things on good terms, whereas long-term relationships tend to end with more negative emotions and frustration. This is in part due to people growing more attached over a longer time period, but also struggling to let go of expectations and future plans that they’ve already pictured in their heads.
Benefits of Short-Term Relationships
There are many benefits to short-term relationships, and some of them might surprise you!
- Discovering who you want to be with and what kind of behaviors are a no-no is easier when you date more often and short term.
- There are fewer expectations, so you can enjoy the freedom and just be yourself.
- You learn to express yourself and your desires more clearly because short-term romances don’t have much time to waste.
- You get to master the art of conflict and disagreements with someone who you know is not going to be in your life forever, so you’re not as fixed on being right all the time, and more likely to compromise. A skill, once learned, that is going to help you with all future romances.
- Experimenting and learning about your own sexuality is a wonderful thing that you get to do by being with different people through different stages of your life.
- A better balance between your personal and social life. You’re not as committed to your lover, so you’re more open to going out, focusing on friends, and networking.
Important Rules of Successful Short-Term Relationships
Just because your relationship is short-term doesn’t mean it’s going to be less messy.
There are certain rules you can follow in order to make the most of short-term dating.
- Always be open about your intentions. It’s not fair to keep the other partner in the dark and waste their time. You may avoid clearing the air because you want less drama, but trust us – you’ll only be creating more of it with shady behaviors.
- Set the boundaries. Relationship boundaries may sound lame and unnecessary, but they’re a super underrated tool to make your short-term flings better. Think through how much emotional involvement you’re ready to handle, whether or not you’re exclusive, and how much time you’ll be spending together.
- Stay somewhat flexible. Yes, we’ve just recommended you be super clear and firm with short-term relationships. At the same time, we’re human. Both your feelings or circumstances may change, and it’s not going to be the end of the world if you stay open-minded to this possibility.
- Don’t commit to something just because you’re afraid to say No. It’s possible that as you date someone, they will be suggesting changes to your dynamic. Sometimes it will work for you, other times you won’t really want to do it. If the latter happens, do your best to not cave and let them know how you truly feel. For instance, if they want to see you more often and you only have time for them once a week – don’t agree to more frequent hangouts. You might end up hating and resenting them for it, and that’s not what you need in your life.
- Respect your partner’s choices. One of you may choose to leave the relationship if they have a change of heart. For example, your lover may realize that they do, in fact, want a committed relationship that might end with marriage and kids. Or they may decide that short-term dating is not it, and they switch to one-night stands instead. You need to be mentally prepared for those situations and let them do what’s best for them. And the same applies to you too!
Tips for Those Seeking A Short-Term Relationship
If you’re after a short-term relationship or maybe you’re in the middle of one right now, here are some actionable, tried and tested tips to help you along this journey.
- Don’t be afraid to end things when necessary. If, for whatever reason, the relationship is not suiting you anymore, don’t stay just because you think it’s casual, so it makes no sense to break up. You can be miserable in any romantic arrangement, but you don’t have to.
- Enjoy it while it lasts! Short-term romances are temporary, so try and have the best time while you can with this person. Don’t waste your breath arguing about meaningless things or overthinking your potential future or things that can go wrong. Make the most of it and move on when you’re ready.
- Be honest with yourself about your expectations. There’s no sense in lying to yourself about what you want from a short-term love story. Yet, many people still do this, especially if they weren’t the ones who initiated the short-term format. Don’t lie to yourself because you might end up hurting people around you and your mental health if you stick to a relationship that doesn’t really match what you want to do.
FAQ on Short-Term Relationships
We’re hoping that short-term relationships are not as confusing to you anymore once you’ve read this article. Still, let’s finish off strong with a rapid-fire FAQ.
How long is a short-term relationship?
Typical short-term relationships last anywhere between a few weeks to a few months. It’s not rocket science, so obviously variations to the duration are possible. However, anything that is less than two weeks barely qualifies as any kind of relationship. You’re simply going out at this point.
In terms of dating past the 6-month mark – we’d say this is where the relationship slowly starts to move into long-term territory. Still, there are people who date for up to a year and consider it a short-term relationship, but the success here probably lies in them not treating this romance seriously.
Is a short-term relationship a fling?
Not necessarily. Short-term relationships can include a fling, but it’s not a must. Flings are extremely brief and they’re based primarily on physical attraction. At the same time, short-term dating can involve interest in each other’s personality and deeper things than simply the looks.
Is wanting to have a short-term relationship immature?
Of course not! Okay, you can be a bit immature if you’re continuously running away from commitment, creating situationships, and avoiding telling your partner about your true intentions. In general, though, short-term dating can be wholesome and meaningful, and it can be light-hearted and centered around sex too. Neither of the formats makes you immature. If you want to date more mindfully while still enjoying short-term romances, just treat each other with respect and care, and you’ll be good.
Can short-term relationships be exclusive?
They can, but they don’t have to. Exclusivity is not reserved solely for long-term relationships. It’s perfectly normal to want to be exclusive with your short-term lover, and you shouldn’t be surprised if they ask you the same. Okay, you’re not planning on getting married and living happily ever after, but you can still focus on each other in the little time you have together. Plus, many people want to have safe sex, and limiting the number of sexual partners you’re exposed to is a big part of it.
Do short-term relationships turn into long-term ones?
Sometimes people start dating with an understanding that it’s only a short-term thing, but then end up falling in love or just hanging around for much longer. We can have all the plans and intentions in the world, but if we end up finding a person we truly connect with, then the magic happens and a much longer relationship is created.
However, we don’t recommend you dating someone who explicitly says that they are only interested in a short-term relationship and no commitment. There is a chance that they will change their mind, but they can break your heart too.
Where can I find a short-term relationship?
Go with all your usual suspects – your favorite dating site, introductions by friends, bars, parks, anywhere really! There is no secret club where short-term dating lovers meet. It helps if you open up about your dating plans early on, and maybe being vocal about it in general will ease the task for you.
