5 Ways to Practice Self-acceptance in Dating
We should all be walking around with our heads held high, acknowledging our flaws, and being secure in the fact that we’re all just trying to do our best in this crazy dating world. Let’s explore the art of self-acceptance, Once is here reporting for duty to help make your online dating experience a truly enjoyable one.
What is Self-acceptance?
The definition of self-acceptance is the ability to recognize and welcome your strengths and weaknesses objectively, without judgment, and understanding that “perfection” is an impossible standard. It’s about learning that we all have wonderful qualities and are also flawed, and that’s okay! Self-acceptance is not really something that comes naturally, we’re not born with this ability, we have to practice it.
Why is Self-acceptance Important?
So, why is self-acceptance so important? Self-acceptance is extremely important for our mental health. It’s a key component of happiness and overall well-being. Lack of self-acceptance can lead to low self-confidence and undervaluing of ourselves, which are related to anxiety and depression.
Many of us today deal with anxiety in some way, making it difficult to go about our daily lives. We’ve all been there when it just seems absolutely impossible to get through the day but you still have to trek through it like it’s nothing, ugh the worst!
Take Julie’s story, she has a brightly colored birthmark on her face and was bullied often for it: “I have a large birthmark on my face and was bullied for it to the point where I considered getting it surgically removed. In the end, I opted for makeup, but being so young, I always applied it so poorly. I finally threw my makeup away when the “natural look” trend started and felt such relief. That was two decades ago… Self-acceptance is key to establishing your confidence. I refuse to be affected by the negativity of others. Who you are as a person is more important than how you look”.
To put it simply: other people do not define your worth. You do!
We’ve touched on the negative aspects of lack of self-acceptance, now let’s dive into the benefits of accepting yourself, some examples include:
- Positive mood
- Be more content with your life
- Create stable relationships, both platonic and romantic
- Set and achieve your goals
- Manage mental illnesses
How to Practice Self-acceptance
It’s easy to say, “I accept myself for who I am”, “Yes, I accept my great traits and my flaws”, etc, but how can we actually put this into practice? Time to put our money where our mouth is and turn this into reality. Here are some ways you can practice self-acceptance:
Understand your Values
Identify what you believe in and your personal values. This can be anything like accountability, loyalty, or a specific religious belief. Understanding these aspects of your life will help you stand confident and firm and bring together your overall identity. Cause who you are is awesome, remember that.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the conscious awareness of who we are, where we are, and being fully present. It’s easy to get sucked into work like an automated robot and not be aware of what’s going on in your mind and around you, kind of like an out-of-body experience. A higher sense of awareness will not only benefit you, but it will also benefit your dating life to help you find that perfect match.
Getting into the mindful dating world involves understanding yourself and your boundaries while also having a good sense of what you’re looking for in a relationship. Slow dating and taking the time to really get to know someone before taking another step forward is an excellent way to practice mindfulness in dating. Some questions you should answer to practice this can be: Are you just wanting to see what’s out there and date multiple people? Are you ready for a monogamous, fully committed relationship?
Common ways to practice mindfulness include meditation, deep breathing, and expressing gratitude.
Forgive Yourself
We are all hard on ourselves, probably too hard. We give grace to others when they make a mistake, but we expect ourselves to be perfect. That doesn’t track. We are our own worst critic, but don’t let that self-judgment get in the way. Recognize your mistakes, learn from them, and try to do better the next time around. We all make mistakes and fall short on occasion and it’s important to forgive yourself.
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete” - Buddha
Don’t forget to show compassion to yourself, especially in times of heartache.
Create a Positive Social Environment
Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people is especially important in dating. Explore the Once dating app to discover potential like-minded partners by their profile vibes.
Now, seeing the positive side of things in dating doesn’t mean overlooking red flags. Acknowledge the things that go well and try to see the silver lining in everything, but don’t undermine your values or allow someone to cross your boundaries. When you establish self-acceptance, you’re aware that conscious dating is important to establishing an authentic relationship.
No one wants to be friends with or date someone who only sees the negative in everything or oversteps, so make sure you are making conscious choices to have positive people in your life.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
You’ve heard the saying “Comparison is the thief of joy” and this could not be more spot on! If you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, you will never be happy trying to reach something unachievable in the first place. Instead of looking outward, look at yourself and see what you could do better next time.
Consider Daily Meditation and Therapy
Meditation and therapy are some steps you can take toward self-acceptance. Meditation is an excellent way to practice mindfulness and talking to a therapist can help you identify specific aspects you could work on to gain confidence and higher self-esteem.
Self-acceptance Affirmations
Using verbal affirmations is a great way to start (or continue) on your self-acceptance journey. Here are some affirmations you can read or say out loud to yourself (we recommend out loud for a greater effect!) but you do you:
- I love myself for who I am
- I am grateful for all the wonderful things in my life, such as ….
- I am proud of my accomplishments so far and how far I have come
- I am enough
- I am worthy of a fulfilling life
- I am comfortable in my own skin
- I forgive myself for past mistakes, I did the best I could with what I had at the time
- I do the best I can in every situation
- I am deserving of good things
- I embrace my short-comings and always try to do the right thing
- I give myself grace when I make mistakes
What is Radical Self-acceptance?
Radical self-acceptance is the conscious attempt to experience our reality, the good, the bad, and alllllll the tough emotions that come with it. It takes self-acceptance one step further and you don’t resist the effects of your life experiences. We naturally shy away from feelings that are uncomfortable because we are trying to protect ourselves, but on many occasions, we need to feel the uncomfortable feelings to develop and move forward.
Self-love/Self-esteem vs. Self-acceptance
It’s important to note that self-love/self-esteem is different from self-acceptance. Having self-acceptance enhances your self-esteem, the view you have of your capabilities compared to other people. Where self-acceptance depends on how you view yourself in general, regardless of other people, self-esteem depends more on how you view the comparison of your capabilities to other people and other life experiences.
Having high levels of self-acceptance is a great thing, this means you unconditionally accept yourself for who you are. On the flip side, having overly inflated self-esteem can be toxic and harm your relationships; we all know at least one person who thinks they’re way better than other people and you’re just there thinking, “Get over yourself, Brad”.
The impossible standards of society are unreachable, they always have been. By doing the best we can in every situation, accepting our flaws, forgiving ourselves for our mistakes, and trying to do better next time, we’ll make our lives a little bit better.
Conclusion
“It kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. We always have to be extraordinary, but somehow, we’re always doing it wrong.” - America Ferrera, Barbie Movie
Practicing self-acceptance is difficult in today’s world of judgment and constant comparison.
Self-acceptance is a journey that you don’t have to go on alone if you don’t want to. Lean on a trusted friend, or parent, or talk to a therapist about how you are feeling.
Get your eat, pray, love moment on and watch how things unfold for you. You are good enough and you are worthy of everything you want in life, never forget that!
