Your Safe Sex Guide: the Basics, the Do’s, the Don'ts 

Sex is a big part of an adult’s life. Whether it’s the intimacy between two long-term partners, sex on the first date, or something in between – it has to be safe. Just like Lil Wayne said, “Safe sex is great sex”. Lil Wayne and the Once team may not agree on everything, but the importance of safe sex is definitely something we both support. 

What is safe sex? 

Before we dive into the conversation of safe sex, let’s define what it actually means. 

Safe sex is sexual activity that is carried out with precautions against transmitting infections and having unwanted pregnancies. These precautions come in different forms, such as condoms, dental dams, birth control pills, etc, or all of the above.

We’d also like to extend this definition by stating that safe sex is impossible without the full consent of both partners or respecting each other’s boundaries. Sex is not only a physical activity but also a spiritual and emotional bonding between two (or more) people. And in addition to leaving us with sexually transmitted diseases, sex can also leave mental scars if we’re not careful. 

The do’s of safe sex 

There are many ways to keep both you and your partner protected. Here’s how to have safe sex.

Get tested for STIs

Nobody wants to go to the doctor’s and have all kinds of tests done and then have to wait for results in nervous anticipation. We get it, trust us. However, safe sex begins with you, and it’s the responsibility of all sex participants (both men and women) to get themselves checked. Not only is it our duty to not pass anything to our lovers, but it’s also a perfect opportunity to make sure we get timely treatments if something is indeed found in those test results. You wouldn’t want to give your perfect match a yeast infection or herpes, would you?

In general, it’s a good idea to go see your doctor at least once a year for regular checkups, especially if you’re not in an exclusive relationship and regularly change sexual partners. 

Look into protection options 

There are many ways you can protect yourself during sex, so make sure to research new options every once in a while to help you stay on top of the safe sex game.  

If you’re able to get pregnant but not in the mood for babies right now, then you might want to look into birth control. Some women love them and use these pills for hormone balancing along with avoiding unwanted pregnancies. Others are a bit more skeptical, and if you’re one of them, then classic condoms or IUDs may be more favorable. 

Clean up your sex toys 

If you’re someone who likes to involve an occasional sex toy in the act, then you should be cleaning them vigorously. Ideally, a sex toy needs to be washed after each sexy session and every time you’re changing its placement, for example, if you’re alternating between oral, anal, and vaginal sex. 

The don'ts of safe sex 

Now here’s what you shouldn’t do if you want to follow the safe sex principles:

1. Have sex without protection, obviously. 
2. Wear multiple condoms at once because they’ll likely slip or rip. 
3. Try olive oil, baby oil, and other food products from your kitchen as lubricant. 
4. Rely on safe days to have sex according to the menstrual cycle calendar. 

Avoid doing everything we’ve listed above, and your sex life will be much more safe. 

Why is safe sex important? 

Safe sex is paramount for each and every one of us. It helps us maintain our physical health and avoid the nasty aftermath of sexually transmitted diseases. It keeps our mental health in check too, because having health problems from sex is not only physically painful but psychologically exhausting. Additionally, safe sex prevents us from bringing unwanted kids into the world. Overall, safe sex allows us to continue having guilt-free sex and enjoy ourselves in the bedroom, instead of feeling pain and shame and having to refrain from any sexual activity until we’re fully treated. 

Safe sex tips 

Having safe sex is a must for physical health, a healthy relationship, and balanced self-acceptance. Here are our best tips and rules that facilitate safe sex practices. 

1. Have a chat about sex. Don’t be shy and talk about sex with your partner or bring it up in the dating chat with someone you’ve not met yet. Can it be awkward? Of course, but it can also be beautiful and help advance the emotional intimacy between you two. But most importantly it will help define what is acceptable and what’s not for the both of you, how you see safe sex, and what measures you both are ready to take. 
2. Limit your number of sex partners. We’re not being prudes, but it’s the basic rule of risk management. The more active sex partners you have simultaneously, the more likely one of them is to give you an STI or a pregnancy if you’re a woman. You don’t have to go monogamous or abstain from sex completely, but rather adopt the mindful dating approach and maybe offer the slow dating route to some of your crushes where you don’t have sex with them just yet, but rather get to know them first.  
3. Try alternative sex practices. You don’t have to have penetrative sex to please yourself. Sexting with your crushes and masturbating, alone or with someone, is a hot way to spend time. Just keep in mind that different bodily liquids can still contain harmful bacteria, so masturbation is not a 100% fool-proof way to avoid diseases if you’re doing it with someone else. 
4. Be careful with genital hygiene products. Some of them can actually remove the healthy bacteria that keep things in order down there. Read the labels and consult your OBGYN to make sure you’re not increasing your risks of contracting infection while thinking that you’re actually doing a good thing. 
5. Think twice before having sex on your period. Period sex is great, and it has many amazing side effects, such as cramps and migraine relief. At the same time, the risk of passing STIs is even higher during periods because some viruses and bacteria are transmitted through blood. Also, period sex doesn’t mean pregnancy-free sex. You can still get yourself or your partner pregnant because sperm can survive inside for up to several days. 

Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy? 

Unless instructed otherwise by your OBGYN, sex should be safe during pregnancy. Always make sure to ask about it during your regular check-ups and follow all the instructions of your healthcare advisers. 

In general, though, sex should be fine during the nine months of your pregnancy. You might want to refrain from more experimental or rough sex practices just to be extra safe, but the standard bedroom fun should be okay. 

Many pregnant women report increased libido during pregnancy, so if you get horny, and there’s no restraint from your doctor – then go for it! Just make sure you’re still following the basic protection rules, especially if you’re planning to have sex with someone you’re dating online and just met someone who you know little to nothing about, including their medical history.