How to Make a Woman Orgasm
What is a female orgasm?
It’s an ephemeral, elusive magical creature that humanity has been trying to score down for centuries! We’re joking of course, a female orgasm is the sensory culmination of the sexual act. It is achieved through the stimulation of one or several erogenous zones, and it results in immense pleasure.
Female orgasms, just like male ones, help our bodies release stress, lower anxiety levels, produce good hormones, improve our sleep, boost overall health, and so much more.
Types of female orgasm
Yes, there’s more than one! Isn’t it exciting? Here are the main types of women’s orgasms that you can help your girlfriend or wife achieve.
- Clitoral Perhaps the most common orgasm that is achieved through stimulation of the clit. It can be achieved through masturbation, and penetration isn’t necessary.
- Vaginal Vaginal orgasm is achieved through penetration and the stimulation of the G-spot.
- Cervical Cervical orgasm is also achieved through penetration but the one that’s deeper than what’s required for vaginal orgasms.
- Anal Yes, women can have an anal orgasm, although it’s not as common as clitoral or vaginal.
- Nipple Our bodies are fascinating. By stimulating certain areas, such as nipples, you can bring your partner (or yourself) to the height of pleasure.
Some women report squirting – releasing of fluid during orgasm, similar to what men experience. The fluid is watery and is released at a pressure as a result of intense G-spot stimulation. It’s not very common, so it’s possible that you won’t see it with any of your female partners.
What is the orgasm gap?
The orgasm gap is something you may not have heard of, but you’ve definitely experienced it regardless of your gender.
In basic terms, the orgasm gap is the disparity in how often men and women have orgasms as a result of sex in a heterosexual relationship. Men (not shockingly) report disproportionately higher numbers of orgasms they experience compared to women. Now, even if some men overestimate their ejaculations, the real picture is still pretty grim for people with vaginas.
Why do we have an orgasm gap? Answering that question, or better yet, – fixing the gap will probably earn you a Nobel prize. Here are some of the main reasons attributed to the shortage on the female side of the stick:
- Men are centerpieces. The common pattern of heterosexual encounters is that men’s pleasure is put before the women’s. This translates into shorter sexual acts with less foreplay and little stimulation other than with a penis. The issue here is also that once a man is done, he rarely has the desire to go on to finish off the lady.
- Not enough stimulation. We’ve just said it, and we’ll say it again. Women need more stimulation to reach an orgasm. Ideally, the stimulation should come in different forms and with different techniques. Fingering doesn’t have to be executed one certain way, there are so many options you can please a woman with your hands.
- Poor communication. One person doesn’t say they’re not getting enough from sex, the other doesn’t pay too much attention to anything but themselves, and there you have it – a recipe for an orgasm disaster.
Unorthodox tips to ace the female orgasm game
The Once team couldn’t leave you hanging and not share some of the greatest tips to improve your sex to your partner’s orgasm ratio. Here are the somewhat unconventional tips that we feel don’t get enough attention, even though they work like a charm.
#1 Emotional intimacy is arousing
Stop with that emotionally unavailable nonsense. It’s tiring to be with a partner who can’t open up and have a proper deep talk with you every once in a while. The way a woman feels about you and about the relationship matters, and it affects the orgasm too. So work on that emotional intimacy!
#2 Be a partner, not a child
Lots of women resent their partners because they behave like little kids. For instance, a boyfriend is not clean after himself, doesn’t know or care to learn how to do anything in the house, and whenever he does a chore, he messes up so badly that he’s never asked to do it again. All those things are examples of weaponized incompetence. If you want to act like a child to get out of a difficult conversation or do a task you’re not into, but still want to have great sex, you are being delusional. When men act this way, women start to see them as children, or someone they need to take care of because the person is not able to look after themselves. This doesn’t sound too sexy, and it surely doesn’t lead to stronger feelings and orgasms in the bedroom.
#3 Ask them out and talk about sex extensively
Sadly, sex is still a nearly taboo topic in many parts of the US, and the world in general. Even people who are dating long-term or married for decades can do so without talking about sex much. This is a disservice to both partners because having open and honest conversations helps you both get on the same page and understand what you can do differently, what works and what doesn’t. A chat about it can give you ideas and inspire new hot dates that will make you both very happy. Also, if there’s an issue or a misunderstanding, clearing it in a calm and vulnerable discussion will remove many roadblocks on your way to outworldly orgasms. Mindful dating is the shortcut to orgasms.
#4 Go to the toy store
Hear us out. There is nothing emasculating about introducing sex toys into your sex life. Think of them as your little helpers and a fun way to try something new in the bedroom. And if you’re diligent and open-minded, you can even end up with a toy that will work for both of you! Talk about a win-win.
Tried and tested tips and tricks to help your woman orgasm stronger and better
Female orgasm is not rocket science, and you can master it with a little bit of effort and practice.
- Don’t stick to what you know. If you normally resort to fingering her clit during foreplay, switch it up to cunnilingus. Plus, remember that kissing different body parts is very exciting. Reach out for areas that you normally leave behind, such as the back of her neck, arms, legs, or her back.
- Take things slowly. We don’t mean slow dating, but rather slow sex. Unless you’re doing a quickie in between errands or work meetings, there is no reason to rush. Keep it in your pants for a while, warm your girlfriend up, savor every moment, and only move to the main act when you absolutely can’t wait anymore.
- Be spontaneous. Spontaneous sex is not a miracle worker, but it is hot to jump on each other randomly without discussing it or scheduling a date. Join her in the bathroom for shower sex, or take a sex break in the wardrobe as you’re getting ready to go out. No planning, no 45-minute showers to get you all cleaned up, no waiting for the right time and place!
- It’s not a maths problem. Don’t treat getting your gf to orgasm as some sort of a mission or a complex project at work. Strive for it, experiment, be adventurous, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself or on her. It will kill the buzz.
- Venture out to new formats. If you’ve started dating online, you probably have your old dating chat, right? Now is the time to put this baby to work! Use this chat, or your messenger or choice, and start sexting away. If that’s not something you normally do, you’ll probably go through an embarrassment phase which will then be followed by leaning into it and getting horny from those texts. Next thing you know, you’ll be more excited about sexy time, and it will help you get to the big O more frequently.
Is sex without an orgasm a failure?
Giving your partner a leg-shaking orgasm is the best feeling ever, but what if you’re close to culminating, but your girlfriend isn’t there yet? Once sex is over, and only one person reaches the highest pleasure, it can feel embarrassing and daunting.
Sex can be a great thing even without an orgasm. You still get the experience, the intimacy, the pleasure. Just not the final release. So don’t think that sex without an orgasm is a waste of time, absolutely not. However, you obviously should strive to help your lover orgasm because it allows them to experience so much pleasure and get this post-orgasm high thanks to hormone release.
