Magalit: the New Love Language

Ladies and gentlemen, there’s a new gangsta in town. Meet magalit – the new love language. The Once team is on this trend, and we’re here to tell you all about it!

What is magalit?

Magalit is the new, sixth, love language that is popping off on social media. 

The term “magalit” originates from the Filipino language that encapsulates several meanings at once, so it’s a bit tricky to explain. If you were to translate it, it would come up as “angry” or “mad” in English. However, it’s an entire range of emotions and includes frustration along with annoyance and irritation. 

Although it all sounds pretty negative, and you’d think that it’s odd for it to be one of the love languages, the magalit love language is actually all about this frustration that we all feel when communicating with someone, even if we love them very much. It’s a symbol of us having feelings for this person because you don’t really get frustrated with someone you don’t care about. 

Examples of magalit

How do you know what’s magalit and what’s not? There’s no research or official list of what counts as magalit and what doesn’t. At least not yet! But we can provide you with some examples to help figure out what’s what. 

• When you have a disagreement or argument about important topics, such as parenting and finances. 
• Demonstrating your annoyance with words or actions when your partner does something, for example, when they forgot to do what they promised. 
• Giving silent treatment when you’re disappointed. 
• Making somewhat hurtful remarks about your partner because you’re annoyed with their behavior, and usually being sorry for voicing them after the fight. 
• Engaging in passive-aggressive behavior.
• Being sarcastic.

Sidenote: Feeling and expressing negative emotions is a part of the human experience. It’s when it becomes chronic and gets progressively more aggressive that it is no longer magalit but a bigger issue that needs to be addressed before it ruins your romance. 

What are the basic love languages?

Magalit has joined a family of 5 other love languages. The traditional ones that dominated the universe up until now are:

1. Words of affirmation, such as giving compliments and encouraging your partner verbally. 
2. Acts of service, like stepping up with house chores when your partner is overwhelmed with work projects or a health issue. 
3. Gift-giving and receiving where you enjoy gifting something to your partner but also can receive and appreciate the gifts from them.  
4. Quality time together, like going for a walk in the park and dedicating your full attention to your partner. No smartphone or daydreaming in sight! 
5. Physical touch. Think kissing, hugging, holding hands, massaging their shoulders, etc.  

Some people stick to a particular love language, but most of us express them all at some point in the relationship. If you’re dating online, it’s obviously hard to do the whole physical touch thing. That’s when you focus on words of affirmation and gift-giving. If you live in the same city and hang out with your lover all the time, then quality time and acts of service are probably your love languages of choice.  

Magalit vs other love languages 

Magalit stands out from the rest of the love languages because it’s kind of on the negative side, even though it’s lighthearted (and usually justified) negativity. True relationships and real love are multifaceted, and sometimes we get frustrated with our loved ones. It’s impossible to do mindful dating and avoid negativity completely. Magalit completes the set of love languages, making it more realistic and applicable to real life. 

If you still can’t wrap your head around magalit being one of the love languages, think about your previous relationships that didn’t make it. If you were the one breaking up with your partner, you’ve probably experienced this feeling of being done. Like when you’re so tired of everything that you don’t even want to fight anymore. It’s not worth it for you in your mind, so why bother, right? So what this symbolizes is that we don’t bother wasting our emotions, positive or negative, on the person we’re no longer in love with. So when you are being annoyed with your partner (=exercising magalit) this shows the other person that you have feelings for them. 

What if your partner’s love language is magalit? 

It’s important to understand that being annoyed or irritated is pretty normal in healthy relationships. We’re humans, and our emotions differ. We can’t always be happy and content with ourselves and others around us. Every once in a while we’ll grow tired and feel frustrated. It’s okay unless it’s a permanent feeling that lowers your quality of life and makes people around you miserable. 

Learning more about magalit will definitely help you manage your relationship better and find common ground with your partner. Understanding this concept will allow you to decipher and navigate your lover’s needs, desires, and wants, even if they don’t actively vocalize them. 

There are many ways in which love can be expressed. Some of these ways are manipulative and abusive but don’t think that magalit is like that by default. Most of the time, magalit is lighthearted and it’s not supposed to bring the other partner down or make them feel lesser-than. 

Having a partner whose love language is magalit can definitely be a challenge, but it’s not the end of the world and not something from another planet. After all, this behavior and pattern existed even before we put a name to it, so you probably already know how to deal with it, even when you don’t realize it at first. 

What if your love language is magalit?

Don’t worry if magalit is one of your (or the only one) love languages. It’s a bit unconditional to some, but it’s a perfectly normal way of expressing your feelings. You don’t have to put it in your dating profile bio or mention it in every dating chat you start. 

This playful anger that you express might take a while for others to understand. If you’re worried that you’ll scare your perfect match away, resort to slow dating. This way, you’ll get to know each other better without moving on to the next relationship stages, such as meeting parents, moving in together, or even getting married.