The Honeymoon Phase

The Honeymoon Phase 

What is a honeymoon phase? 

The honeymoon phase is the first of the main relationship stages. Traditionally, it’s considered the most carefree and wonderful period where the two people get to know each other, everything seems perfect, the dates are long and passionate, and the newly found romantic interest can do no wrong. That’s the time when all pink flags are ignored, and your future together is bright.

The honeymoon phase usually launches along with your first dates and it runs until you get to know each other more, and the initial excitement starts to wear off a little and is replaced with something more serious. 

Not everyone agrees with this take, but we at the Once office think that you get a second and even third-wave honeymoon phase as you move along the relationship milestones, such as getting engaged or moving in together. 

Signs of a honeymoon phase

Here are some of the signs that your relationship is in the honeymoon phase right now.

• Your partner is perfect. No, seriously. 
• You two are having fun most of the time, there’s barely any argument or disagreement. 
• There is a lot of flirting and sexting going on, and you’re constantly aroused when you’re around them. 
• The only thing you can think about is them, and it’s very hard to focus on anything else. 
• Your friendships and other relationships drop in priority for you. 
• You’re in touch all the time, whether on the phone, via text, or in person. 
• Both of you are happy to compromise and make little gestures to ensure each other’s happiness.

How long does the honeymoon phase last?

The truth is, nobody knows how long your specific honeymoon phase will last. It can be weeks or months, sometimes years, but it can also be days. 

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, the very situation you’re in will likely push back the expiration date of your honeymoon. If two people only get to see each other every couple of months, there is pretty much zero mundane reality. Add this to the lack of physical presence, and you get a perfect storm for a prolonged, kind of manufactured honeymoon period. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with it per se, it’s just important to manage your expectations and understand that things will change if and when you get to live in the same city again. 

Another way to extend the honeymoon phase is through slow dating. You take the time to get to know each other’s values, lifestyle, and compatibility, which helps keep the initial spark going for longer. 

Even though there’s not a precise time frame for the honeymoon phase, if you want to have some sort of number in mind, then the average, at least from the number of research and questionnaires, is six months. So use this number as a reference, but make sure to not put too much pressure on it, and have as much fun as you can. 

The difference between love bombing and the honeymoon phase

The difference between the two is huge! Love bombing is a manipulative technique where a partner alternates between treating you like the absolute best thing that’s ever happened to their life (and being very loud and vocal about it) and being the worst partner ever. 

Think of all performative expressions of emotions and affection, such as gigantic flower arrangements, them standing up in a restaurant and grabbing everyone’s attention only to proclaim their love to you, or constantly sending you extravagant gifts. This is then followed by the complete ignore and withdrawal from the romance where they go radio silent and disregard you and your needs. 

Sounds horrible, right? The honeymoon phase, in turn, is rather innocent and it’s all about two people getting to know one another, figuring out if they’ve found a perfect match, and slowly falling in love.  

Is the honeymoon the best phase in a relationship?

It’s tempting to say it is because your feelings are so fresh and strong, and you’ve probably had zero fights or conflicts yet. There’s this innocence and a great promise of what’s yet to come which you don’t necessarily lose down the line, but it’s not the same 100%. Still, it’s not wise to consider the honeymoon phase the best part of the romance. If you are into mindful dating and want to build a beautiful and healthy relationship, then you know that each stage of the romance has its ups and downs, and you can treasure them equally. 

One thing that people don’t talk a lot about when discussing the honeymoon phase is how you still don’t know this person fully, so you can’t be as relaxed and comfortable with them, as you become down the line. 

How to make the most out of the honeymoon phase

Honestly, the best advice we can give you here is to enjoy the ride, and not rush your relationship. The whole meaning of the honeymoon period is to have those sweet experiences and build memories with your crush. Take it one day at a time, learn about each other, and see where the future takes you. 

Also, not to spoil anything, but try to be mindful of the red flags and toxic behaviors. It can be really hard when the person seems perfect, and you’re in the mood to forgive or ignore anything and everything. It’s important that you don’t miss their sketchy tendencies (if any) before you fall in love. 

Am I falling out of love or is the honeymoon phase over?

You might be surprised, but it is a common concern. Once you spend some time with the person, and the feelings start to cool off, it can seem like you’re no longer that into them. 

If you’re no longer electrified every time they touch you, you’re having less sex, and small fights start to come up here and there, it doesn’t mean this is over for you two. It’s all part of the normal relationship progression. 

You’re good if you:

• Have fights, but they’re healthy and resolved in a non-toxic way, for example, without manipulative tactics, such as silent treatment. 
• You’re comfortable around each other, even when you’re not doing something together. For instance, you can sit in the same living room, minding your own business in silence, and it feels perfectly fine. 
• You’re planning and discussing your future together with less butterflies and excitement, but you still feel the warmth in your heart thinking about it. 

There might be a falling-out-of-love situation if:

• You’re avoiding your partner.
• You’re uninterested in them and your romance.
• You don’t feel like you can share things with them. 
• A lot of things they do spark your annoyance. 
• There’s little to no sex for no apparent reason. 
• You’re thinking about scenarios where you are single.

Only you can tell if you’re falling out of love or simply moving to a more stable and quiet stage of your relationship. Don’t make any abrupt moves until you’re certain what it is. Feelings are confusing, so there’s a chance to do something you’ll regret later. If you struggle to understand yourself for a longer period of time, talk to a relationship therapist. They’ll not have all the answers for you, but they’ll help you analyze and view your situation from a new perspective.