10 Green Flags in a Relationship
Starting a new relationship or progressing with an existing one is an exciting time. You get to know the person better, make plans, and build a life together. But how do you know that they’re the one?
When you’re first signing up on an online dating application, you’re full of hope and thrill, and everyone seems great, perfect, and just who you were looking for. With time, however, we usually learn that those who infatuate us are not at all what they seem. Sometimes they turn out to be worse, and sometimes better than we imagined.
How can you tell the difference? Your best bet is to look for the green flags in a partner that will confirm they’re the one.
What Are Green Flags in a Relationship?
The green flags' meaning is pretty simple. Those are the signs that the relationship you’re in is healthy and respectful, and the person you’re dating is a good candidate to be your lifelong partner.
Noticing green flags gives people more confidence in the dating decision they’ve made, makes them feel more secure in their romance, and encourages them to invest more in the relationship.
Green Flags vs. Red Flags – The Key Difference
Green and red flags are polar opposites. Green flags are what you want to see in your partner, and a red flag is bad news. With green flags, you get the confirmation that you’re dating a good person who’s compatible with you, while with red flags you might need to reconsider your choices.
It’s essential to recognize both types of flags in a relationship to make informed choices. Ideally, your partner should not have any extreme, hardcore red flags. Those are really hard to deal with and manage, and you can only get rid of them if both of you agree to work on them.
10 Green Flags in a Relationship You Should Look For
Your personal green flags will depend on who you are, your values, and what kind of partner you’re looking for.
Here are a few examples of green flags that the majority of people who go into dating want to see in their lovers.
#1 Open and Honest Communication
A big green flag that is super exciting to find is that your partner is good at communication, meaning that they’re open, honest, vulnerable, and able to discuss difficult topics in a constructive fashion. There’s nothing worse than being with someone who is avoiding certain conversations, can’t communicate their feelings clearly, and is not good at discussing things overall.
Good communication skills also include being a good listener. They hear what you’re trying to say and they make an effort to understand your perspective and come to a joint conclusion.
Note: Good communicators are not trying to say the things you want to hear and play pretend. They’re genuinely looking to get to know you and be on the same page with you.
Being in a relationship involves a lot of talking, and it is also the main skill for humans to truly understand each other. Someone who’s good at communication is a walking green flag.
#2 Emotional Maturity and Stability
There’s nothing sexier than emotional maturity and stability! Lots of men are guilty of being immature toddlers, and some women act like that too.
Emotional maturity involves being in touch with your feelings and managing your emotions like an adult. Stable individuals are empathetic and they’ll do their best to make you feel good, but they’re also not going to let you walk all over them and hurt them for no reason.
They’re aware of their good and bad sides and work on enhancing the first and taming the latter. They’re also not afraid of being vulnerable in front of you and open up about their feelings, pains, and happy moments.
#3 Respect for Boundaries and Personal Space
Boundaries are problematic to so many people, and it’s definitely a red flag if your partner doesn’t respect yours. Boundaries exist to ensure everyone is comfortable, nobody is being pushed to do things they don’t want to, and it’s clear what behavior is not allowed.
Some treat relationship boundaries as a personal insult and do their best to sabotage them. If your partner is the opposite, i.e., they’re loving, caring, and supportive of the boundaries that you’ve outlined, they’re the one!
One of the particularly important boundaries is the need for personal space. Many couples morph into each other with time and almost become this single monster of a person with shared values, interests, social circles, and ideas.
It’s normal and expected to some degree, but extreme versions of this metamorphosis are not cute. Those who realize they want to keep their individuality and have time and energy to work on their own projects, interests, and relationships usually ask for personal space. But regardless of whether you do or not, a partner giving you this personal space is waving a huge green flag in their hands.
No matter how much in love you are, you guys need to have your own personal space to be yourselves.
#4 Consistency in Words and Actions
Sweet talk is all nice and cute until you realize they didn’t mean any of the words they said!
Partners who say what they mean and follow through with their actions are the real MVPs. Anyone can say anything. Doing what they said they would is a whole different story. Finding a partner who is consistent means that you can trust them and rely on them. That, in turn, is an extremely important quality for a serious, long-term partner. Nothing worse than dating an unreliable mess who’ll say whatever but not actually do any of the promised stuff.
#5 Encouraging Personal Growth
Unfortunately, not everyone wants to see us win, and not everyone can be supportive when you’re growing to become a better person. If you find a lover who’s encouraging your personal growth and is cheering you at every stage of your journey, they’re a keeper.
#6 Shared Core Values and Life Goals
Sharing core values, beliefs, and life goals is super important for mindful dating. Hollywood and pop culture will make us believe that you can date anyone, and true love will find a way.
In reality, things don’t usually go as smoothly. In fact, you’ll probably have many struggles, fights, and misunderstandings with your partner if your core priorities and goals are very different. You’ll want to have a big family and raise kids in Connecticut, they’ll want to be childfree and traveling the world doing DJ gigs. Both lifestyles are fabulous, but forcing one of you to give up and adapt is not a compromise, it’s torture, and it will happen eventually if you don’t choose to break up over the differences.
#7 Mutual Respect and Equal Effort
Mutual respect should be non-negotiable, but it’s not as common as we’d like it to be.
Being sexually attracted to each other and having shared goals is great, but you should also be respectful of each other. No microaggressions, belittling, or snarky comments. You both are adults and should treat each other accordingly. Also, there needs to be an equal effort in wanting to make the relationship work and to treat your partner seriously.
#8 Support During Tough Times
It’s easy to be loving and supportive when life is great. However, it takes real feelings, strength, and commitment to be by your side when you’re going through tough times.
#9 Genuine Happiness in Each Other’s Success
Everyone can get jealous and be slightly resentful for a short while, but overall a partner needs to be happy to see their lover succeed. Them being truly happy for you is a must and the greenest flag there is. Resentful partners who secretly hate to see you win will drain your energy and make you feel miserable, creating an ever-lasting stressful environment that nobody needs, right?
#10 A Strong Foundation of Friendship
Sex and chemistry are fun, but when they inevitably run down, what is left in the relationship?
If you and your partner have a strong foundation of friendship that makes your romance solid and helps you have a great time even when you’re not horny – that’s a relationship jackpot.
Green Flags in a Guy – What to Look For
Here are some more green flags in men that will signal that he’s a great match and someone to take seriously.
- He is patient and able to wait for you to be ready for the next step, for you to figure something out, and for you to make up your mind about him.
- Whenever he’s around you, you feel good. Never underestimate the feeling of safety and content when you’re with another person.
- Your sexual compatibility is through the roof. Sex is not everything, but it’s still an important part of adult relationships. If you guys are doing great in the bedroom, this is another confirmation of you being good for each other.
- They’re kind and empathetic. Vile and angry people are not good for you, and the opposite is a green flag.
- You can trust them as they say what they mean and do what they promise.
- They’re available emotionally and you’re able to connect with them on a deeper level.
- They cherish your time together but are equally happy to be on their own and work on personal projects.
Building a Relationship Based on Green Flags
If you’re building your romantic relationship based on green flags, it means that you’re prioritizing your mental and physical health, trust, respect, and good communication.
Green flags are paramount for mindful dating, and if you’re watching out for them, it means that you’re more likely to find a partner who is a good fit in terms of values, lifestyle, beliefs, and life goals. You’re embracing their positive traits and building a solid foundation for a fulfilling and nurturing relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) on Green Flags in Relationships
What are the biggest green flags in a relationship?
The biggest relationship green flags are rather basic but surprisingly hard to find. They are your partner being a good communicator, someone who respects you and cheers for you. Also, when your union is not only sexual but the sex is great is a huge green flag. You need to be peers and friends, as well as lovers.
Can green flags appear early in a relationship?
Absolutely. Unlike red flags, people don’t hide green flags so much, and those things shine through really early. However, make sure it’s a pattern and not an accidental act of kindness out of convenience or due to an ulterior motive.
How do I know if my relationship is healthy?
Healthy relationships make you feel good. You’re not stressed from having to walk on eggshells, and you’re full of energy to do things. If you’re feeling safe and valued, and your fights are handled maturely, then you are in a healthy relationship.
What are the opening green flags in a relationship?
The most common opening green flags are genuine and clear communication, respect, and consistency in stories and actions.