Flirting Made Easy with Top 10 Tips for Instant Connection

Flirting in this digital age has never been easier. Lucky us! Talking to someone new and feeling that instant connection is like no other feeling. Flirting gets the attention of a potential crush that you want to get to know better. For some, flirting comes naturally, for others, not so much, and that’s okay!

Flirting is a fun and engaging social experience that everyone should enjoy. Once makes it easy to embrace a casual and light-hearted approach to flirting to spark up chemistry and connection. Let’s explore the ins, outs, ups, and downs of flirting and how you can confidently up your game.

What is flirting?

So, what is flirting anyway? Flirting is a social behavior that suggests someone is romantically and/or sexually into you. It’s often a combination of verbal communication and non-verbal gestures or cues that gives you a big clue if someone likes you, more than a friend.

Some examples of flirting include:

Giving many compliments
Grazing hands or shoulders
Eye contact
Actively and continuously engaging in conversation (basically, they show genuine interest in your life)
A lot of smiling and laughing (even when something may not be that funny)

People are different and it may be unclear (or very obvious) if someone is flirting with you. Some people are just “a flirt” with expressive personalities, so it can be difficult to tell. A whopping percentage of our communication is actually non-verbal; the exact percentage is debated, but many agree that it’s over 50%. Being aware of body language, posture, and gestures will give you great insight into the flirting experience.

Top 10 Tips on How to Flirt

If you’re new or experienced in the dating world, these tips will help you improve your flirt game. Here are our top 10 tips on how to flirt with someone you're interested in:

“Confidence is Key” will never go out of style. Present yourself with confidence and a smile.
Find and discuss common interests: discover the other’s interests and see if any are the same as yours, such as reading, music, sports, lifestyle, etc. Finding a common interest can lead to endless conversation.
Listen attentively: Listen to what the other person is saying with positive responsiveness, eye contact, and openness. Make a mental note of a few things that you feel are important to them so you can mention them later and show you listen.
Ask thoughtful questions: make sure to show genuine interest in the other person’s life and ask more thoughtful (and less superficial) questions. For example, if they’re talking about a tough job transition, you could ask something like “Wow that sounds really challenging, what was going on in your mind/how did you feel during that time?”
Maintain open body language: A high percentage of how we communicate is non-verbal so make sure you are approachable. Chin up, nice posture (we can see your shoulders shrugging from spending too much time on your laptop). No one will be eager to talk to you if you're hunched over or closed off.
Be mindful and respectful: By noticing how someone carries themselves you can tell if they’re shy or outgoing. Be respectful of someone’s boundaries and mindful of the context you’re in, whether it’s texting, video chatting, or face-to-face interaction.If you end up flirting with a coworker, be careful, this could be grounds for harassment.
Give out at least a few compliments: A nice compliment can stick in your head for a while. Positively (and verbally) recognize something you like about them, whether it’s their new haircut, new outfit, or their attitude toward something.
Find a way to lightly touch them: You want to find a small way to physically connect. Maybe this is a light graze of the hands or an arm caress.
Introduce a playful game: A little playfulness can get things moving and also give you a peek into how they handle lighthearted competitions. This can be “Truth or Dare”, “Would You Rather”, or “Never Have I Ever”, just to name a few.
Maintain a lighthearted and humorous attitude: Flirting should be fun and light. Keep a positive attitude throughout your interactions and others will notice your positive energy.

If you’re rejected, don’t worry, that’s just redirection, time to move on to something better.

Signs that Someone is Flirting with You

Signs and signals vary depending on the person but, here are some common ways to tell if someone is flirting with you:

Extended eye contact when talking
Standing close (a very common sign of flirting)
Fidgeting (playing with clothing, playing with hair)
They compliment you often
Positive facial expressions like smiling, laughing, raising eyebrows

Be aware of these cues and gestures and you’ll find out if they’re flirting with you or not.

Is it Flirting? Or are They Just Being Nice and Friendly?

Are they just being nice and friendly? Are they flirting?

Flirting vs. Friendly is a hot topic. Being nice and friendly creates a comfortable atmosphere with no intention of romantic or sexual interest, but the line is often confusing. Flirting has more of a playful and expressive/engaging tone to it with the subtle hints previously mentioned.

If someone is clearly giving out all the signs of flirting with you, but you’re just not that interested, be mindful of what you say and your non-verbal communication. Express kindness but maintain a less expressive attitude than you would if you were flirting with a crush. Let’s try not to get the wires crossed.

A good way to distinguish the two is to express interest in a special someone in your own way and see if the energy is reciprocated. Don’t be shy! You’ll never know unless you put yourself out there.

How to Flirt Back

Are you interested in the person who’s flirting with you? Time to flirt back. Remember, reciprocation is sexy. Here are some tips on how to flirt back with a crush:

Smile! A nice smile is inviting to another person and shows that you’re friendly and approachable.
Eye contact: maintaining eye contact is a very important non-verbal cue that someone is not only interested in you but also listening to what you are saying. Think about having a conversation with someone and they don’t meet your eyes. Pretty awkward right? and clearly shows they are uninterested.
Throw in a nice compliment: compliments are always great to hear. A casual, “I love your shirt, it looks really nice on you” can instantly make someone smile and feel good about themselves.
Subtle jokes: jokes can be corny to get a big laugh or playful to encourage a little “competitiveness”.
A little teasing: a little playful teasing is fun. You can give the person a cute little nickname, tease them about staying out too late last night, and pick some moments to be sarcastic.
Use pick-up lines: playful wording and using fun emojis can help someone see that you're reciprocating their flirting. Pick-up lines can be thoughtful, funny, or just cheesy. A favorite cheesy one is “Are you a Wifi signal? Cause I’m feeling a strong connection here.”
Don’t overthink it.

You may be asking also: But how can I flirt back without being creepy?

Enjoyably flirting and being too forward is a delicate balance. Try to strike a balance between respect, confidence, and mindfulness. One person’s boundaries may be completely different from another’s, so it’s a good idea to start with a few cute messages and compliments, see their reaction, and move a little forward from there.

Is Flirting Cheating?

The big ‘ole question: Is flirting cheating? Well, it depends. Everyone’s relationship has a unique dynamic, and what counts as cheating depends on the person. Many people agree that any form of flirtatiousness is cheating while others don’t.

Many have found common ground with: “It depends on the intent”.

What would the purpose of flirting with other people be? Is it to juggle wordplay for fun? To simply flatter others? Is it to actually form a deeper connection with that other person? Or do you have an open relationship where you both prioritize each other but can see other people if you want?

It’s best to talk to your partner openly about this and communicate your boundaries about flirting with others to avoid severe miscommunication or heartache (we don’t have time for games). Remember, it’s all about what you feel comfortable with.

Flirting isn’t an exact science. That would completely take the fun out of it. Flirt in a way that feels natural and comfortable to you. If you lean to the shyer side, a simple smile and a head tilt can go a long way. If you are more extroverted, make it verbally known that you're interested with compliments and praise. Once is here to help guide you so make sure you select your top vibes so we can connect you with your ideal partner, making conversation and flirting fluid and fun.

Happy flirting!