Top 5 best dating app

Dating a Single Mom: Essential Tips for Success

If you’re dating online actively, you probably come across many single mothers.

Dating a Single Mom: Essential Tips for Success

In the US, 2 million marriages were registered along with 670K divorces in 2022. A big portion of the divorced population reenters the dating market at some point, so you need to be prepared for the nuances that come with dating a single parent.

Some people avoid matches with kids because they don’t want complications, but trust us – single mothers are just as worthy if not more of your time and efforts, and it’s not necessarily a tricker relationship to navigate. 

Here is how you can prepare to date a single mom and make the most of it.

Understanding the Dynamics of Dating a Single Mom 

Single mothers are not some other kind of human beings. They are just like every other single woman out there – someone looking for a caring and loving partner, a person who has her own dreams and ambitions. Except, they also have a kid that requires a lot of time and energy from them. 

If you’re going to date a single parent, here are some of the dynamics that you need to be aware of and prepared for. 

Time is scarce

Like really, actually scarce. Single mothers (most of the time) don’t have the luxury of lounging around and wasting time left and right. With all the responsibilities of any adult plus things that come with motherhood, single moms don’t appreciate those who waste their time, make them wait, or cancel plans all the time. If you are flaky like that, they might get rightfully angry at you, or even drop you as their lover. 

Their patience isn’t unlimited either

Single mothers have already been dating, and possibly even married. They’re not exactly new to the game, and they’ve possibly gone through a traumatic breakup as a result of being in a manipulative and unhappy relationship. 

So, while they’ll be understanding and flexible about some things, they’re less likely to tolerate any BS. Gaslighting, manipulating, breadcrumbing, and all that is something they see right through. Either be a decent partner or don’t mess with them at all. 

Their kid is a higher priority 

Like it or not, a single mom’s child will always be more important to her than her love life. Children come first, and you need to understand that and be mature about it if you want to build a long-lasting relationship. Also, don’t be mad or upset if she doesn’t want you to meet her children yet. It’s a very delicate process that shouldn’t be rushed. 

Stability is important

Unless the mom explicitly states that she’s after some light-hearted sexy fun, you better believe she’s looking for a long-term commitment. Dating after divorce can be tricky and weird, and moms usually aren’t interested in lukewarm connections that don’t lead anywhere. 

Key Tips for Building a Strong Relationship 

If you’ve met someone cool and you want to build a strong relationship with them – kudos to you! Here are some key tips for dating a single mom to build a strong union that will keep you both happy. 

  1. Communicate openly and honestly. Talk to them. Be present and emotionally available.  
  2. Be patient and flexible. **** It’s not easy to be a single parent, try to give them grace and support them when they’re struggling with navigating parenthood, career, personal life, and relationship. Single parents aren’t the only ones who can be overwhelmed, but they have the added weight of responsibilities that can just be the final straw. 
  3. Support her parenting choices. Criticizing someone’s parenting skills is one of the deadly sins and an extremely efficient way to mess up your relationship with a single mother. Unless you’ve walked a mile in her shoes, you don’t have the right to protest her parenting choices. That is, obviously, if she’s not putting the child’s life in danger. 
  4. Don’t expect her to act like your childree ex-lovers did**.** It’s not fair to compare your lovers overall, but especially those who have kids and those who don’t. Children turn your life upside down, and you simply cannot have the lifestyle you once had before them. 

Establishing Trust and Emotional Connection 

One thing single moms really need from their partners is a real connection. They want to trust you and feel a genuine interest in their life. Not every single mother is like that, but the majority of them will expect it.  

  • Remember that trust is built over time. It’s not a one-night operation.
  • Take the time to learn more about them as an individual, their goals, plans, and desires beyond motherhood.
  • Be open emotionally and share more than just surface-level stuff. 
  • Show enthusiasm about getting to know her children, but don’t insist on it happening instantly. Instead, ask about them, and make notes of important habits or traits the mom shares with you. Learn about them from a distance. Then, when it’s time to finally meet them, you’ll be prepared to build rapport and become friends with them.

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Dating a Single Mom

Sometimes people who date single parents make mistakes that jeopardize their relationship. 

This often happens accidentally because the other partner didn’t have a similar experience before, and they don’t realize that they’re saying or doing something wrong.

So, here is what we recommend avoiding when dating a single mom:

  • Rushing the relationship. When you have a child, you’re not just looking for a partner for yourself, but also considering this person as a potential father figure for your kids. Dating as a single mom means being extra careful and diligent, and taking time with choosing and vetting the partner. If you start pushing the mom and rushing her to take the next step or see each other more when she’s clearly not ready, you can send the wrong signal and scare her off. Slow and steady wins the race for sure when dating a single mom. 
  • Neglecting her needs as a parent. No, she can’t cancel her plans with the kid and come see you. Yes, a lot of her time and energy will be dedicated to the child. She is a woman and an individual, but in a way, she’s dependent on the child’s needs and needs to plan around it. That’s just the way it is. You either accept it, or you look for someone else to date.  
  • Making assumptions about her lifestyle. Nobody likes to be stereotyped, right? Single moms are often demonized or ridiculed, especially online, and it can be very hurtful, whether or not your assumptions prove right. Just because someone is a single mother doesn’t mean they live a certain way, like certain things, or want something specific that all single moms are supposed to desire. 

Dating tips for a single mom

This is an article for people willing to date single moms, but we couldn’t leave single mothers hanging. 

Without further ado, here are selected tips for moms who are not in a romantic relationship right now, but would like to change that. 

  1. Prioritize yourself whenever possible. You’re already pushing your own desires to the bottom of the priority list because of your kid. Don’t go out of your way to make your partner happy, especially when it’s hurting your mental health or self-esteem.
  2. Set boundaries early on to protect your peace and help you find a partner who truly matches your criteria and needs.
  3. Don’t hide the fact that you’re a parent. Being a single parent, especially a single mom, is sometimes perceived as undesirable on the dating market. However, don’t try and hide it from your date because it always backfires. If they don’t want you as a single mom, they don’t deserve you at all. As simple as that.
  4. Take it slow, even if you really want to pick up the speed. Even if you’re fully healed from your previous romance and ready to date again, avoid the mistake of rushing. When kids are involved, it’s better to go the slow dating route to have enough breathing room to assess your romantic situation more clearly and make the right dating choice.
  5. Lean on your support system guilt-free. Nannies, cleaners, cooks, relatives, friends, – anyone who can make your life a little bit easier is a great resource. Use them, show gratitude, and try to not feel guilty for having them help you out. Remember that you are not supposed to raise children on your own. It’s perfectly normal and even expected to have some form of help. It doesn’t make you a bad mother. In fact, it’s the opposite. With help, you have more energy to be a good mother and an example to your children.

Conclusion: Making It Work 

First and foremost, a single mom is a person who is worthy of love and respect, and just because she has a child doesn’t mean she needs to be put on a pedestal or treated somehow differently, although sometimes it is helpful if you do. 

When you are dating a single mom, remember to be patient and understanding with them. Offer help and support, perhaps, not with the kid directly but in other ways you can make their lives a bit easier. Or at least be considerate and try not to plan dates that are far away from where she lives or demand her to be available when she’s busy with the child. 

If you’re up for it, you can build a loving and enriching life together with the mom and her kid. It might take time, but it’s definitely worth it. So, put our tips for dating a single mom to work, embrace the journey, take it one day at a time, and you’ll get there.

Share: