Dating a Younger Man: Navigating Relationships with Younger Guys
The beauty of using an online dating app is that you’re exposed to people of all age groups.
Unlike real life, where certain bars, for example, attract more or less a homogenous type of clients, dating apps are the melting pot of anyone and everyone.
If you’re looking to date a younger man, then this is the place to be!
Why Do Women Date Younger Men?
These days, nobody is shocked by an older woman dating a younger man, but her intentions might still be unclear to many.
What’s the appeal?
Well, there are a few core reasons why someone may go for dating younger guys. First of all, we still live in a society that is highly youth-oriented. Being young is hot and desired, and being around vibrant youthful energy feels good. You’re seeing new perspectives, you’re trying new things, and, by extension, you get to feel younger yourself.
Next, we have to talk about sex. It’s no secret that many men’s bedroom performance goes downhill after a certain age. Women who date younger men can get all the sex they want, as their partners can go on all night, whereas a more mature man will be able to get down to business two times per night at best. Also, many younger guys are more creative and adventurous, so women are less likely to fall asleep during the act out of pure boredom.
There are downsides to youth though too, as some boys will not yet know the full potential of a woman's body and how to deal with it, but a lot of them are eager to learn, so that’s not really an issue.
Also, if you are dating someone significantly younger, for the most part, you don’t have to worry about them wanting to settle. Younger guys are perfect companions for when you want a good time without the “What’s next for us?” question coming up.
Challenging Traditional Relationship Norms When Dating a Younger Man
An 80-year-old grandpa with a 23-year-old girl – nobody bats an eye. Older women and younger men – all of a sudden it’s a tragedy that catches everyone’s attention.
For the longest time, women were gaslighted about their so-called value on the dating market and were brainwashed to believe that they were not worthy of male attention after a certain age. So naturally, when a woman has “the nerve” to date someone younger, so many are quick to judge.
Luckily, societal norms are beginning to shift, and it’s no longer such a shock as it would have been 40 years ago. Nevertheless, dealing with established traditional relationship norms is not easy.
So how do you deal with that?
First and foremost, you need to understand that it’s nobody’s business. You dating a younger guy is not something other people should be worried about. Don’t tolerate snarky comments of purely nosey behavior.
The age difference is not a bad thing and often can lead to lots of growth and mutual learning. Someone even 5 years younger or older than us has a completely different perspective on so many things. If you prioritize raw and vulnerable conversations and emotional compatibility in your relationship, then your couple will be able to embrace the differences and you will be able to teach each other a lot.
Another aspect that bothers so many in a situation where an older woman is dating with younger man is the reversed roles where the woman can be (but doesn’t have to) a sole breadwinner or someone who makes significantly more money than her man. She is also likely to be more mature and experienced, making her more dominant or simply the designated decision-maker.
If you deal with social judgment often, you can try to change your social circles and find friends among more open-minded folks who will not be shocked by such normal things as a couple where a woman is a bit older than a man. At the same time, you can have conversations with your friends, family, or colleagues who are not very understanding. The choice is yours.
Ultimately, if the couple is happy and they like each other, it shouldn’t matter what anyone has to say. Unsolicited opinions, criticisms, and passive-aggressive comments have to be challenged. Put the abuser in the spotlight, make them uncomfortable, and tell them about your boundaries (such as not giving unprovoked advice). If they continue with their toxic behavior, remind them of the rules or cut them out completely. Chances are, if they are not supportive of your romance, they are not that supportive of other decisions in your life.
Benefits of Dating a Younger Man
We’ve already touched on why do women date younger men in this article, but let’s go over the main reasons one more time:
- They’re very energetic and enthusiastic (in the bedroom and beyond).
- They’re more flexible and ready to adapt or change their ways to accommodate your needs.
- Their perception of the world is different and can feel like a breath of fresh air.
- Less baggage, such as trauma, heartaches, or children from previous relationships.
- Freedom to have fun and not worry about settling down and getting serious.
Challenges in Dating Younger Men
Now that we’ve talked about all the good parts, let’s look at the challenging sides of dating a younger man.
- Dealing with emotional immaturity. Tantrums, manipulations, attempts to gaslight, throwing fist when something doesn’t go his way, – all those things and more are what you’re opening yourself up to when choosing to date a boy.
- Having to teach him how to pleasure you. Young guys can have sex multiple times a night, but is it going to be good? That’s the real question. Although many older women do not mind teaching their young men how to operate a female body, the “students” may not be talented or motivated or both in the subject. In any case, if you’re an older woman in this position – do the Lord’s work, help his next girlfriends have a bit more fun in the bedroom.
- Aligning the vision for the future. If an older woman is dating a younger man with the intention of it becoming a serious, long-term thing, then there is a possibility of a conflict in aligning life stages and future projections. Let’s say a 40-year-old woman dates a 28-year-old boy. The guy might want to get married and have kids later and focus on his career right now. For the woman, if she wants to get pregnant, there is really no time to lose. It can also work in the opposite direction. A happy child-free woman will be pressured by her younger partner who wants to start a family.
- Having your friends not take him seriously. While you might not see your younger bf as a boy toy, others might. Also, if the age gap is big, the friends might (sometimes subconsciously) snub him as they’d struggle to find common ground and things to talk about.
Effective Communication in Age-Gap Relationships
If you’re wondering how to date younger guys and make it work – mastering the art of communication is the answer. Here are the go-to tips for doing that:
- Don’t pretend the differences do not exist.
- Talk about your dating goals and expectations openly from day one.
- Avoid assumptions by addressing them directly.
- Work on your active listening skills.
- Be empathetic towards your partner and aim to make them feel heard and understood.
- Balance between fun chats and deep conversations.
- Create a united front against anyone stereotyping your couple.
Navigating Social Perceptions
It’s one thing when distant acquaintances don’t understand your relationship dynamic and make snarky remarks, and it’s a whole different story if that’s your family doing that.
Try to be patient with people in your life, have multiple talks about the situation, enforce your boundaries, and make it clear that you won’t let them be disrespectful. If they don’t seem to understand from the first time, keep on telling them how their comments make you feel. If necessary, give them an ultimatum to either become more understanding or not talk to you about it ever again if they want to keep you in their life.
Side note: It’s not so much about a particular relationship with a boy, but rather your right to be autonomous, make your own decisions, and be understood and supported by your family and friends. If your closest inner circle is not supportive of your life choices, then you need to get to the bottom of this, dating a younger man or not.
If someone has the audacity to challenge you about your relationship in public, the best course of action is to ignore them. Maybe give them a deadly look at the same time. If not responding is not an option, you can gently suggest they focus on their lives instead. If you’re feeling cheeky, you can remind them of one of their shortcomings that they better work on, rather than trying to humiliate you.
Overcoming obstacles to achieve lasting love
If you’re in a relationship with an older woman, or you are this woman dating a young guy, you’ll probably want to overcome typical obstacles to getting serious and staying in love.
To achieve that, first, you need to ensure you are both on the same page. It can be heartbreaking, but if you guys don’t match in terms of your plans and expectations, it may be healthier to break up early on than pressure each other into submission and changing your life goals.
If that’s not the case for you, and you both are eager to build a future together, great! That’s an amazing start. Keep this core goal in mind as you continue to date and deal with conflicts, misunderstandings, and other issues that all couples deal with.
Being empathetic, focusing on resolving the conflict and not ending up being right all the time, really listening to each other, and respecting your individualities is the key to dealing with anything that life throws your way.
Dating a Younger Man FAQ
Do relationships with younger guys work?
Of course, they do. Just like any type of relationship, couples where a woman is older can work very well. A lot depends on the partners, how emotionally mature and patient they are, and what their long-term vision for their romantic life is. You can date a person your age and break up just as easily, as not everything is about age. Naturally, if the gap is very big, for example, 15-20 years, it can take a toll on the romance.
Is dating a younger guy okay?
Yes, it’s okay to date a younger guy, as long as he’s not barely legal but a proper adult. Grooming is something that women can do to men as well, and it’s a bit toxic to find yourself an 18-19-year-old boy if you’re a woman past a certain age.
Can a younger man genuinely love an older woman?
Younger men are capable of feeling deep love. However, if the older woman is their first serious relationship, they can have this almost childish love for them, not a proper mature love of a person who’s been through things and knows what he wants from the relationship.
How to tell if a younger man is into you?
There will be signs. He’ll try talking to you more, touching you here and there, staring at you, asking you out, or suggesting a meeting sometime. He can also follow you on social media and send likes and reactions to every post you publish. Overall, younger people are not that good at hiding their emotions, so you’ll likely know it when you see it.
