The ABCs of Cunnilingus or How to Make Your Girl Happy
What is cunnilingus?
First things first, let’s fully understand the meaning of cunnilingus.
Cunnilingus is an oral sex practice that is performed on the vulva and vagina with mouth and tongue. The person performing cunnilingus is sucking, licking, and even biting the woman’s genitals helping her reach an orgasm.
How to perform cunnilingus
Okay, now let’s get down to business (no pun intended) and learn more about giving the mind-blowing cunnilingus to your perfect match.
#1 Pay attention to foreplay
Kiss them, lick them, touch them everywhere, – help create a sexy mood and relax them into the process. Oral sex is very intimate and can be uneasy for your partner, even if you have great emotional intimacy between you two in general.
Don’t stick to tried and tested erogenous zones either. There’s so much more to our bodies than genitals, lips, and the neck. Be creative, and watch out for how your lover reacts. And if your partner likes PDA or getting freaky somewhere where others can see them, then do that too if you’re comfortable with it.
#2 Tongue your way around
Tongue is the main character in the cunnilingus book. Different people like different tongue techniques, plus a lot depends on how sensitive your partner’s vulva is. That’s why the best thing you can do is experiment and see what sticks.
Try a range of tongue motions:
- Side to side
- Clockwise or counterclockwise
- Up and down
- Pushing back and forth in one spot
Also, let your mouth work! Sucking the entire clit or parts of it is also pleasant and hot, so don’t forget about it.
#4 Use your hands
But be gentle with them. Your hands should almost be an extension of your tongue, your little helpers. Also, while you’re working your way on your partner’s vagina, your hands can be busy working somewhere else. Having your multiple erogenous zones stimulated at the same time feels awesome, don’t waste that potential!
#4 Slow and steady wins the race
Cunnilingus is different from a blow job. With a blow job, you can actually rush things and make your partner orgasm faster. It’s not the same for women though. Avoid rough movements and fast rhythms at first. Let them ask you to go harder, rather than end up feeling pain and discomfort, and no orgasm in sight. Also, don’t try and match their excitement by going faster, stay with the rhythm you’ve got going on.
#5 Be careful with anilingus
Since you’re already down there, you might want to relocate your efforts to the rim area. Surely, this can be hot and erogenous if you’re both on the same page, but it can equally backfire. Your best bet is to ask your lover if they’re okay with it before you start.
#6 Stop if you’re not enjoying it anymore
It’s possible that you’ll feel tired, your jaw will go numb, or you’ll be out of breath. Or you’ll simply want to switch to something else, like penetrative sex. If that happens, don’t force yourself to go on with cunnilingus. Your partner will most likely feel that you don’t like what you’re doing, and they’ll be weirded out, upset, or embarrassed. Instead, gently suggest moving on to something else, or simply relocate your tongue and mouth to their hips, belly, or other body parts, focusing on the rest of their body.
#7 Watch out for hidden risks
Don’t forget the safe sex rules during cunnilingus. Yes, you can’t get pregnant with oral sex, but STIs are not completely out of the picture. There’s a risk whenever bodily fluids exchange happens. Remember the mindful dating principle – take care of your health and watch out for your partner too. Take tests every once in a while if you’re not monogamous. Use dental dams if you’re not 100% sure you’re safe. Or better yet, go back to slow dating, at least in the bedroom, where you’re not having sex before you can clear the STI situation.
Quick tips for giving the best cunnilingus
Here’s a little checklist to make sure you guys both have the most fun:
- Dim the lights and turn a soothing playlist on.
- Wash your hands (and maybe face, if you had a long day) to ensure hygiene.
- Check-in with your partner regularly to see if they like what you’re doing.
- Choose positions that you’re both comfortable in. Acrobatics are all fun and games, but you don’t have to risk your health.
- Don’t take off the clothes right away, teasing each other through undies and other pieces of wardrobe is incredibly sexy.
- Peek at your partner every once in a while, but don’t stare because it will just be creepy.
- Don’t go into cunnilingus expecting to get something in return. Many couples love giving each other heads, but you won’t be owed one just because you gave it. It’s not transactional like that.
Different positions for cunnilingus
Missionary position is a classic, but it doesn’t have to end there!
Position your partner at an angle, so that their V-town is nice and up in the air, and go down on them like that. Alternatively, have them sit on the bed, the couch, or a chair, and you kneel in front of them. Bonus points if they’re in a skirt and you can slide right under it.
In terms of trying the 69 position – some find it weird, others love it. The key here is to understand what you really want to do – give your partner the ultimate pleasure, or get some yourself. We’d say, don’t get greedy, and let them have all the fun first.
Do women like cunnilingus?
Yes and no. Women absolutely love cunnilingus, when it’s given by someone they feel comfortable around, and when the giver is focused on their pleasure. Nobody likes the lukewarm oral sex where it’s abundantly clear to everyone that cunnilingus is only in the picture because you want a blow job in return.
Also, many men end this activity way before an orgasm can be reached, leading to women thinking that this whole thing is a waste of time. There’s no exact length but aim for about a 20-30 minute session at least.
How do I suggest cunnilingus in the bedroom?
When it comes to oral sex, many people feel awkward about the topic and don’t know how to bring it up. In the Once’s team experience, the best tactic is to start with having a general talk about sex. Unless you’re only starting dating online and your dating chat is still fresh and new, having a conversation about sex should be something you’re both ready to tackle.
Ask your partner about their sexual preferences, things that are off limits, and the wildest dreams they didn’t have a chance to bring to life yet. This will be super helpful to your sex life down the line, and you’ll be able to establish where you stand on things like oral sex early on.
Once you have this deep talk, you’ll know your lover’s thoughts on cunnilingus, and you’ll know if and when you can go down that path, so a simple question before starting would be enough to double-check that the partner is okay with this right now.
