Conscious Dating: Finding Your Perfect Match on a Spiritual Path

Casual dating can be joyful and exciting, but it’s not a forever plan. Once you’re done with having fun and want to date more mindfully, the next question is how to actually do that. What does conscious dating entail? And how does one find a perfect match while staying on track with their core values and spiritual journey? 

Today we’re going to explore the topic of conscious dating in more detail and share actionable tips for all conscious singles out there. 

What Is Conscious Dating and Why Does It Matter?

There’s more than one way to look at conscious dating, but, in general, it is an approach to dating and seeking relationships where the person is being mindful and intentional about the people they go out with, date, and become a couple with. 

Conscious dating involves long-term planning and thinking, and it’s almost strategic, but in the best sense possible. 

Conscious singles look for authenticity, genuine connection, emotional intelligence, mutual respect, and alignment in values. They’d rather stay single than date just anybody for the sake of going out. 

Why is conscious dating an approach to dating that you should even care about?

First and foremost, it’s the most self-loving and sustainable way to date. Every time you engage in a romance, no matter how minor or major, you alter the course of your life. The people we meet, and the people we spend time and have sex with, all shape our personalities. If you make a couple of bad calls and date a few partners who are toxic, unfulfilling, or simply aren’t a good match – you’re risking your personal development, happiness, mental and physical health, and everything else. 

People who dive into conscious dating and make it a priority in their love life get to experience:

1. Better and stronger connection with their partner as it is based on shared values and goals, and genuine compatibility. 
2. Less miscommunication or fighting as they are eager to communicate openly and share what’s bothering them rather than holding a grudge in silence and eventually bursting out. 
3. They’re happier and more self-aware. When partners know their worth, understand their priorities, and aren’t lowering their standards, they’re ultimately living happier lives. 
4. Conscious dating promotes emotional growth. Choosing the right partner carefully involves understanding your feelings and needs, and also being empathetic and attentive to others. All that combined makes a person more emotionally stable and mature over time. 
5. Prevents toxic patterns, such as impulsiveness, codependency, imbalance in power, abuse, gaslighting, and so on. First of all, the person who is focusing on conscious dating is less likely to tolerate any of this behavior. Secondly, they’re less likely to act like that towards someone else because they understand how unhealthy and cruel it is. 

Overall, conscious dating is a path to more fulfilling relationships that someone can be proud of having and enjoy every day, even if things get a little tough occasionally. 

How Conscious Dating Apps Help You Connect with Like-Minded People

Technically, any dating app can work for mindful dating.

In reality, though, you’re much more likely to find what you’re looking for on a conscious dating app rather than a generic dating portal filled with people looking for casual romances, one-night stands, or vacation hookups. 

Side note: To be clear, there is nothing wrong with any of the dating formats, as long as both people know the rules of the game and no one is being manipulated or gaslit.

Imagine two classrooms, each full of students. One of them is filled with kids dedicated to studying, kids who are willing to be at the top of the class and get into an Ivy League university. The second classroom is full of kids who’d rather drop out immediately and go work a trade job to make a living. 

What classroom would you have more chances to get a better education in? The one with studious students, or in the room full of inattentive and loud kids?

It’s the same with dating. Why waste your time on dating apps where two-thirds of the users are after sex when you can go with a conscious singles dating site and access the dating pool of people with the same goals as yours?

Naturally, just because a group of people is after mindful dating doesn’t mean you’ll be compatible with them. Still, the odds will be in your favor. 

Also, such dating apps and websites that prioritize conscious dating implement additional functionality and logic to their algorithms to pair people based on deeper compatibility, rather than superficial matching factors, such as location or age. Once, for instance, asks all new users to choose a number of “vibes” across multiple categories to help the system understand what the person is like and what kind of partner will be best fitting for them to build a long-term relationship with. You don’t get such tools in apps that help people hook up. 

Key Principles of Conscious Dating

Conscious dating sounds amazing in theory, but how do you implement it? We’re glad you asked! 

Here are the key principles to follow that all conscious singles should note and implement.

Time is not running out

If there’s one thing we all collectively experience despite the differences in our backgrounds and lifestyles, it’s the constant fear of time running out. There’s always someone better, smarter, sexier, and we need to keep up. You need a house, a partner, a pet, a promotion, and all of it right here and right now, or else you’ll be a loser forever. 

Sounds familiar? 

We’re all subjected to this kind of mindset, and it’s driving us crazy. Literally. 

Of course, you should put yourself out there and look for love, but you’re not on a deadline. Conscious dating is all about putting yourself and your needs first, and that’s exactly what you should be doing. Yes, finding the love of your life sounds amazing, and it’s understandable why you’d want it to happen sooner rather than later. Still, rushing the process will only result in poor judgment and relationships that lead nowhere. 

Emotional responsibility 

As someone who is going to date consciously, you need to learn to own your emotions, behavior, and decisions. Anything you (don’t) think, say, or do is on you. Nobody else is responsible for you, and it’s up to you to take care of your emotional needs.

Also, emotional responsibility includes not projecting your past trauma, insecurities, or unresolved issues onto your partner. If you have something you can’t help but do, then that needs to be addressed with a therapist or on your own.

Aligned values and goals

Couples that stay together usually share the core values. Their goals, although may be different, are still leading them in the same direction. 

Despite what Hollywood may want us to believe, two people who have nothing in common and live radically different lifestyles do not, in fact, end up together happily ever after. The differences eventually turn into issues and snowball into a disaster. Conscious dating makes sure that doesn’t happen to you because you simply don’t date those who aren’t a good match to begin with. 

Joint spiritual growth

Whether you believe in God, destiny, karma, or nothing at all – there is some form of spirituality that we all live in accordance with. When two people are practicing conscious dating, their spiritual journeys need to align too, and they should help each other grow. This can be going to church together, talking about eternal topics, or simply bringing out the best in each other. 

Finding Love on a Conscious Singles Dating Site

Here is a quick guide to finding love using conscious dating apps and websites.

1. Choose the right platform that attracts like-minded people.
2. Work on your profile. Avoid posting the types of photos that would offend you if you saw them in someone else’s profile. Write a short bio that highlights what you’re like and what you are looking for. 
3. Check the app regularly, look through conscious singles out there, and don’t be afraid to initiate conversation. 
4. Take time to get to know people before moving on to third-party messengers or real-life dates. Chat with them for a few days to get a feeling of what they’re like first. 
5. Have a video call to confirm that the exciting chats you have with them are not just the magic of messaging someone you’ve never seen.
6. Once you’re sure you like them, ask them out! Take them on a date somewhere you can talk and get to know each other even better.

Good luck! 

Avoiding Common Pitfalls in Conscious Dating

Dating is tricky, and conscious dating is no exception. Here are the tried-and-tested tips for avoiding common mistakes. 

• Don’t ignore red flags even if you really like them. Consult your friends if necessary.
• Thinking things through is good, overthinking is bad. Be present in the moment, and don’t delay action too much.
• Sacrificing your core values or principles won’t get you far. Don’t do it. 
• Allow relationships to develop naturally. If you rush it at any step, you risk messing it up for good. 
• Perfection doesn’t exist, so don’t chase it. Real people with their flaws can be perfect too.

Practical Tips for Success on Conscious Dating Sites and Apps

What are some of the things you can implement today for a better conscious dating tomorrow? 

1. Let your profile be authentic, don’t try to be someone you’re not. Many people want to appear better, cooler, smarter, etc, but it’s not worth it. First, keeping up with the act is tiring. Second, they should like the real you, and not the filtered version. 
2. Listen to your gut feeling, always. Even if someone is perfect for you on paper if your gut tells you something’s up, it usually is. 
3. Listen more than you talk. Don’t keep quiet in chats and on dates, but let the other person speak. You’ll know them better sooner, and they’ll feel more valued and cherished. 
4. Less is more. Don’t try to beat the odds by having more dates. Instead, spend more time on your own, or with your friends and family. Only go on dates or chat with someone you actually like. 
5. Share your dating intentions early on. Don’t be aggressive about it, but open up sooner rather than later. This will help you both avoid time waste.

Conscious Dating FAQ

What is the 3-3-3 rule for dating?

There are many abbreviations, principles, and models for dating that help us remember the important elements of healthy and conscious dating. 

The 3-3-3 rule, specifically, is a guideline for taking things slow and pacing your romance to make sure you don’t rush into it and have a solid foundation for a long-term love story and a happy ending. 

The 3-3-3 rule stands for:

• At least 3 dates need to pass for you to make an informed and fair judgment of someone’s character and compatibility with you. 
• About 3 months is how much time is required for you to date someone before you can make a decision on whether or not your values, lifestyle, and future goals align. Only then should you commit to them, go exclusive, and make long-term plans with this person in mind. 
• Reflect on 3 questions regarding this person and dating: Are you respected and valued? Do your goals and values align? Do you feel genuinely happy in this relationship? 

This is a simple, yet brilliant rule that helps people not get carried away and date with more intention and mindfulness. Pacing yourself is so underrated in dating. So many people jump into a romance too soon and get too deep before they realize whether or not the person is for them. Once they’re locked in the relationship, getting out of it proves to be much harder. That’s why the 3-3-3 rule should be applied by all conscious singles.  

Is there a dating app for conscious people?

Once is a conscious dating site that is all about compatibility and mindful dating. The website prioritizes matches in values and vibes over more superficial criteria, and it also puts quality over quantity. It is the right place for conscious and spiritual singles to look for their future partners as it specifically targets the demographic with similar dating goals.