Catch a Cheater – How to Catch a Cheating Spouse & Partner

How to Catch a Cheater – Proven Ways to Expose Infidelity

Whenever you match with someone and start a new dating chat, you hope that the person on the other side is cool and decent, and you guys will be great together.

Sometimes those fantasies aren’t meant to come true, and you end up not finding a soulmate but catching a cheater. It’s not as bad though as the sooner you find out who they really are, the faster you’ll be able to move on.

Today we’re going to share tips for how to trap a cheating boyfriend, explore the different reasons why partners cheat, and what to do next once you catch cheating partners.

Why Do People Cheat?

First things first, why do people cheat at all? What’s the appeal?

There are many reasons why someone might choose to go down the infidelity route. Usually, that’s not a single reason though, but a combination of emotional, psychological, and situational factors that lead someone to this decision.

That’s not to say that the person cheating is not in full control of the situation. It is, under any circumstances, up to them to cheat or not, but it’s not always super simple.

Common Reasons for Infidelity in Relationships

Although everyone’s situation is different, a cheating partner or a cheating spouse usually falls under one of the following scenarios.

Insecurity is a common cheating factor, especially for men. A cheating husband will often blame their infidelity on something else, but the core of the issue will be their inadequate self-esteem. Maybe the wife is doing better with work, looks hotter, or is more popular in the inner circle. Cheating becomes a weapon of revenge, a way to get even and show her that he’s also capable of something.
Lack of commitment is another big reason for someone. It’s possible that you’re simply not on the same page in terms of the future of your relationship and the direction you’re taking. If you catch cheater, they can simply tell you that they were never promising anything to you, including monogamy, although it’s not true of course, and deep down they know it.
They feel unappreciated and lonely in the relationship either because of the dynamic you had from the start or due to a recent change, such as the other partner being busy with work, raising kids, hanging out with friends more, working out a lot, getting education, etc.
Unmet physical needs is a wacky excuse but it’s one of the biggest reasons people cheat in long-term relationships and marriages. If you ask a cheating spouse why they did what they did, the response will often be that they didn’t get enough intimacy from their partner, so they got desperate and had to look for it elsewhere.
Revenge cheating is pretty self-explanatory. The person feels wronged and let down, and what do they decide to do? Yep, to cheat as a way of getting back at their partner. It often comes from the mere sense of resentment that they feel towards their GF or BF, and not even a real situation where they were let down. In other cases, people cheat because they were cheated on, so that’s their way of breaking even.
Opportunity presented itself and they were simply tempted by the situation they found themselves in. This sort of cheating happens a lot on business trips, holidays away from family, but also hanging out in bars and clubs paired with alcohol intoxication.

Here are the key motivations behind cheating. There’s usually more nuance and details that go along with the situation, but the core reasons for someone to cut loose and end up with someone who’s not their partner are presented above.

Cheating is an unfortunate and hurtful event, but understanding why people do it is the first step in getting over it and moving on to better things.

Signs of a Cheating Partner

Sometimes you can’t really tell that there is a cheating issue, especially if your partner doesn’t come up to you and confess.

Still, there are ways to catch a cheater even if they’re trying to keep it a secret. The first step is to look for signs. Something odd about the way they talk or act, something that’s changed recently could be a sign of cheating.

Quick disclaimer before we describe all the possible signs of cheating spouse or partner. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions even if some of the factors we talk about match your lover’s behavior. There are so many reasons why they can act a certain way, so it’s always better to wait a bit, watch them for longer, and also have an open conversation and address it with them.

They became more secretive, for example, started hiding their phone and not letting you look when they’re texting someone, being vague about their whereabouts, or changing passwords abruptly.
They’re becoming less affectionate and more distant emotionally.
Your intimacy goes down the drain as they’re less interested and don’t want to do the things they used to like.
Mood swings are their new favorite thing where they keep you on the edge every second, and you never know how they’re going to react.
They’re staying late now, working extra hours, and going on business trips when they’ve never done it before and their job hasn’t changed.
They’re hanging out with new people and don’t exactly rush to introduce you or invite you to join them.
There are always excuses why they spend less time at home and don’t want to hang out with you.
You notice them deleting texts, hiding apps, adding extra passwords, etc.
All of a sudden they text and text, and text someone, when they were never fond of this communication method before.
Their financial spending changed and they’re out of money when they normally wouldn’t be or you start noticing strange charges on their card.
You sense a new smell from them when they come home hinting that they were getting close to other people wearing cologne or perfume.

Perhaps, one of the biggest giveaways that someone is on a cheating spree is when they get a glow-up out of nowhere. If you see them starting to dress better, groom themselves more thoroughly, use new perfume, hit the gym, etc, there is a fair chance that they like someone else.

Maybe they’ve not cheated yet, and maybe they don’t even realize what they’re doing at this point, but they’re falling for someone and are trying to impress them.

How to Catch a Cheating Spouse – Practical Methods

Catching cheaters is no fun, but somebody gotta do it!

On a more serious note, nobody really wants to catch cheating husband or wife. However, if you suspect that they might be up to something bad, it’s worth gathering evidence before you can address it or make a decision about leaving or staying.

Side note, it’s always best to be ethical about it. You can try to use psychological tricks to catch a cheater or set them up, but it can seriously backfire, especially if your suspicions turn out not to be true.

Here are the best ways to catch someone cheating on you.

Watch them closely. If you’ve been together for a while, you probably naturally trust them and don’t pay super close attention to the minor things they do or say. Well, time to change it! Watch them extra carefully to notice something odd, new, or suspicious.
Look into their digital print. See if they’re following someone new and being super active engaging with those accounts, look at their messages and recently deleted photo albums. Go through on-screen notifications. Sometimes they’ll read and delete the message, but notification will stay right there. See if they’ve been ubering to new parts of town.
Run a banking audit. If you have access to their banking profiles, see if you can find odd charges, such as dinners you have no idea about, charges in nice stores that could be gifts for someone else, or, God forbid, hotel charges.
Track their schedule to see if there are mismatches. Many people aren’t careful with their lies and they’ll be super inconsistent if you pay enough attention to notice. Track what he’s saying they’ll do and then the things they talk about later on.
Spot signs on them. Unfamiliar smells, stains, or even their clothes being a mess when you remember it being ironed before they put it on in the morning can indicate that they were getting hot and steamy with someone else.
Watch their friends and how they act around you. If one of your friends is cheating on their partner, you’ll probably feel at least a little weird about being close to that partner. If their friends are withholding information, sharing looks, and just behaving differently with you, this is a sign that something is up.

Ways to Catch a Cheater Without Getting Caught

If you’d like to catch a cheating husband, wife, partner, etc, but don’t want to get caught then you need to be extra careful with the methods you use.

Focus on observation and monitor his behavior changes.
Instead of checking their phone, turn into a little digital spy and look up what they’re doing online on social media.
If you guys share accounts for streaming platforms, gaming, or something similar, see if there have been logins from new unfamiliar locations.
Ask for friends’ perspectives, perhaps they see or notice something you’re missing.
Listen more than you talk. Let them slip up and give out too many unnecessary details or expose their inconsistencies.

Confronting a Cheating Partner – What to Do Next

Once you know they’re guilty, what comes next is the confrontation. Surely you can choose to ignore the issue, but you’ll only be hurting yourself. The most healthy thing you can do is to deal with the cheating as soon as possible.

Here’s the algorithm of what to do.

Gather all evidence that you have, ideally facts only, no guesses.
Choose the right time when you’re alone and there’s no rush to wrap up the talk.
Do your absolute best to stay calm and collected.
Be as direct as possible, ask simple and direct questions.
Avoid accusations as it will only make them want to leave and not talk about it.
Watch out for their reaction as the conversation progresses.

Tip: Try to think of what you want as a next step before having the talk. If you want to leave them if they cheated, okay. But if you want to work on the relationship and fix the issues, then come prepared with a list of boundaries and things you want them to do and also what you’re willing to do.

To Stay or to Leave?

Nobody can tell you what’s better for you. Choosing to stay requires just as much courage and strength as letting the person go. Whatever you decide on, taking a little pause and distancing yourself from the cheater may be a good idea as it will give you the room to make up your mind without external influences.

If you end up choosing to stay with a cheater, make sure they know how big of a deal that is and how lucky they should feel. Also, set up strict and clear boundaries. Slipping up once may be okay, but doing it repeatedly should be a call for more serious consequences.

Everything You Need to Know About Catching a Cheater

What is the most effective way to catch a cheater?

Sitting back and watching them usually is the best approach. See if they’re any different all of a sudden and if their stories add up.

Is it legal to track my partner’s phone?

That depends on what you’re doing exactly and where you’re based. In any case, even if tracking their phone is legal according to the law, it is kind of unethical, again, depending on what you do and what your prior agreement regarding technology was. So try to do as little of it as you can just in case.

What should I do if I suspect cheating but have no proof?

There are two valid strategies here. You can either ask them directly if something’s going on or you can keep quiet for now and watch them for a little longer to see if your suspicions have any ground.