Best Breakup Texts – How to End a Relationship Over Text
Breakup text messages are not fun to send and they’re even less fun to receive.
There is a lot of controversy surrounding breakup text messages, but there is time and place for them and, with tact and grace, you can send such breakup texts that would not cause extra pain to your soon-to-be ex-partner.
Why Breakups Over Text Can Be a Good Option
Let’s start by addressing the elephant in the room. Yes, some breakup text messages are terrible and they’re showing the lack of empathy and care by the person who sends them.
On the other hand, there are many reasons to embrace this breakup format and it can be much softer and less traumatic for both parties involved.
#1 Clear Communication
Many people struggle with expressing themselves, especially in high-stress situations, such as when they need to break up with their partner. A text message allows them to send a direct and concise message and get their point across. They’re not side-tracked by their lover, emotions, counter-arguments, and the surroundings.
Unless your heart is made of ice, you will be at least a bit stressed and sad by having to break up with someone. This can seriously distract you and cause you to say things you didn’t want to say and forget the core points you wanted to mention. Not with a text message though!
#2 It’s on the Record
Some relationships are messy, and breaking up with a partner can get messy too. Keeping a record of everything that’s been said helps withstand any speculation, manipulation, or gaslighting the person might experience from their lover.
#3 You’re in Safety Far Away
Not only are some relationships messy, but they can also be toxic, controlling, and dangerous. Mostly women, but also some men may choose to send gentle and polite breakup text messages that would hopefully not trigger their dangerous lover. And even if the partner gets triggered, the sender will be far away in a safe space without the chance of being reached by the other person.
Abusive lovers are no joke, so if you or someone you know deals with such a relationship, calling it quits over text would be the best route in terms of mental and physical safety.
#4 No Guilt-Tripping
You might be ready to break up, but your partner might feel different. If they start pressuring, begging, or asking you to give them another chance, it’s not easy to say No even if you really don’t want to continue the relationship.
With breakup text messages, there’s less risk of falling for whatever the lover tells you, so you won’t have to agree to something you’ll regret later.
When It’s Okay to Break Up Over Text
This way of ending the romance is fit for casual relationships and hookups when there are no deep bonds and confusing emotions. You might even send funny breakup text messages that will make the other person laugh and won’t leave any hard feelings.
Also, if your relationship is not official, meaning you’re dating on and off, you can send a courtesy text message to let them know that you guys are no longer doing what you’re doing. Again, this should not cause too much drama and will be a polite way of getting closure.
Last but not least, long-distance relationships are generally okay for long-distance breaking up. Unlike couples that live in the same city, long-distance partners go through many important milestones over texts and video calls. Breaking up over text in those circumstances isn’t cruel, it’s a necessity because often they can’t drop everything and come see each other to have “the talk”.
When You Should Avoid a Breakup Text
Relationships that are more serious and long-term, and especially those where both partners were committed and planned a life together are not meant to be broken off by a text message.
Unless something unforgivable and terrible happened, you should have a face-to-face conversation and discuss everything in detail. You both invested a lot in this romance, and you owe it to each other to have a respectful and decent ending to the union that lasted so long.
If you still decide to go with the text break-up, it will possibly look like you’re running away from the responsibilities and acting like a coward. That’s not the last impression you want to leave, right?
Is It Disrespectful to Breakup by Text Message?
Over-the-text breakups are often seen as disrespectful, even if they’re not intended like that. You may have your reasons for doing it, but the other person will likely think that you don’t care enough about them and couldn’t be bothered to see them and say those things face-to-face.
Everything that has to do with love and romance is very sensitive, and breakups are especially so.
Depending on your situation, you may choose to break up with someone over text and that will be taken well. However, you should always account for the risk of being perceived as a coward and a bad person.
Long breakup texts are not always the solution, but you can choose to write a few extra sentences to explain why you went the text route, how it’s not a sign of disrespect, and that you still cherish everything you guys went through.
Breakup Text Messages for Different Situations
Okay, enough of theory and reflections. Let’s look at some break-up text examples for different situations.
Breakup Texts for a Casual Relationship
Casual relationships are more chill and don’t call for elaborate and heartfelt messages. They should still be genuine and kind, but less serious.
- I’ve enjoyed spending time with you, I hope you did too. I think it’s time for us to go our own ways. I wish you all the best.
- You are a great person, but I don’t think we’re the best match ever. I hope you’ll find someone better for you, and I’ll always remember you with a smile.
- You’re awesome but I think it’s not really working out for me. Hope some other person will make you very happy soon. Take care!
- It was so fun and exciting to hang out with you, but I think you’d agree that we don’t match that well in the long term.
Breakup Message for a Long-Term Relationship
Long-term relationships require more tact and sensitivity.
- There’s no easy way to say it, but I want to break up. There are no words to describe how much I care about you, but it’s time we go our separate ways.
- It pains me to write this, but our relationship is in the past now. We’ve shared so many memories and special moments, I’ll never forget about them or about you. Still, it’s best if we separate and try our love luck with someone else.
- We’ve been going in different directions for a long time already, and it’s time for us to face it – we’re no longer a good couple. The best chance we have at becoming happy again and achieving the things we always dreamed of is by going in different directions.
- There’s a lot of love for you in me, but it’s no longer the love of a romantic partner. I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and it’s only fair for you to be with someone who can’t get enough of you and loves you dearly. If we break up now, we’ll both find the right people for us sooner.
Breakup Message for a Boyfriend
Break up message to a boyfriend can be concise and direct, so they don’t misinterpret it. Here are some tried-and-tested breakup texts for him.
- You’re seriously amazing, but we don’t really match for the long term. I think we should break up and start seeing other people.
- It’s hard to say it, so I have to write it. We’re not really good with or for each other. I think we should break up and find someone better for each of us.
- The time we had together was special, but I feel that I’m ready to move on. I hope you’ll understand.
- We have such a good time together, but deep down we both know we’re not right for each other. It’s best if we break up.
Breakup Message for My Girlfriend
If you’re thinking, “How on Earth do I phrase a breakup message for my girlfriend?”, you’ve come to the right place!
- We both were unhappy for a while already, it’s time to take this step and break up. We’ll be better off apart, but I’ll always remember you as the kind and loving person that you are.
- I hope you understand what I’m trying to say. I don’t feel how I felt about you anymore, and it’s not fair for both of us to pretend nothing’s changed.
- You mean SO much to me, but we really are better apart than together.
How to Tell Someone You Don’t Love Them Over Text
Telling someone you don’t love them anymore is not for the weak. Sometimes it’s easy to break the news via text, but it matters a lot how you do it. The last thing you want is to hurt someone.
- Be honest and don’t try to cover up something and make up a fake reason to break up.
- Be direct and concise so as not to leave any room for confusion or misinterpretation.
- Remember to keep the tone kind and gentle, otherwise you’ll hurt them extra and that’s not what we want.
- When their reaction comes, whatever it is, try to stay compassionate and understanding. They’re hurting, so it’s possible they’ll react more aggressively than you both would like.
- If they insist on closure and a proper talk, consider having it for the sake of you both.
What to Avoid in a Breakup Text
We talked about the do’s, let’s cover the don’ts of a breakup text so you don’t cause extra turmoil.
Here are all the things you should avoid.
- Being vague
- Sending them long reads that take 20 minutes to read
- Using obvious clichés and copy-paste phrases
- Playing the blame game
- Criticizing the person you’re breaking up with
- Ignoring their response texts
- Giving them false hope (under pressure or not)
Last but not least, we’re hoping that it is self-explanatory for our readers, but still – keep things private. If you choose to break up with someone over text, make sure it’s not a group chat and do not send the message when someone else can see it, i.e., when your soon-to-be ex-partner watches something on their screen with other people.
How to Respond to a Breakup Text
Sending a breakup text is hard, but receiving it, especially out of the blue, is even harder.
Here are a few tips to help you handle this difficult moment in your life.
- Take a pause before responding. The first thing that comes to mind often proves not to be the best that you should respond with.
- Respect their decision. You can ask them for closure and a proper conversation, or even check if there’s anything you can do to change their mind, but don’t insist or beg.
- Avoid sending them anything rude, such as insults or threats. This won’t make them want you back, and you’ll end up feeling bad about it later.
- Give them space. Whatever your take on the break-up is, it’s a good idea to give them a bit of space and allow them to experience the feelings they have. It will also give you the time you need to process the change. You can start talking again later, but not immediately after the breakup.
- Don’t ignore the text. If you don’t feel like talking to them, still find it in you to send a quick reply to acknowledge that you’ve received the message.
- Instead of thinking about how to win them back (if you have those thoughts), focus on healing from the breakup and getting back on track.
When you’ve just been broken up with, one of the best things you can do is to stay single for a bit to reflect, center yourself, and focus on your own life. Once you’re more comfortable and all the hard feelings are gone, you can start to gently date again.
Find the best dating app for your romantic needs, go through potential partners carefully, and slowly get back in the game.
