Why We Are Obsessed with Beige Flags in Relationships
Today’s romantic term that we want to cover is beige flags. In this article, we’ll look into the phrase’s meaning, what it looks like in real life, and how it is different from all other dating flags.
What is a beige flag in a relationship?
For once, we can relax, beige flags are not bad or toxic, they’re actually neutral to positive! It is something quirky, cute, a bit weird, or odd that your partner does. Those things need to be noticeable or memorable enough to be called a beige flag, but it can pretty much be any subtle habit in your lover’s behavior.
Examples of beige flags in dating
The beige flag trend originated, just like many things these days, on TikTok, so if you’re looking to understand the concept of beige flags better, we can’t recommend that social media platform enough.
Here are some of the examples that the Once team gathered from personal dating experience and through conversations with dating experts:
- Starting a conversation with all strangers with the same question or opening line.
- Having surprising routines or rituals in the morning or at night, such as having to dance for 15 minutes to their favorite group before heading to bed. In the morning, this can be having a cup of tea in silence before starting to get ready for work.
- Being afraid or something odd and random. During her appearance on Ellen’s show, Khloe Kardashian shared that she’s afraid of whales and belly buttons. The latter phobia is definitely a beige flag.
- Being obsessed with something, such as animal kingdoms, how cities are built and function, or the way we produce certain products or food.
- Making little sounds or gestures when they’re feeling a certain way, such as moving their eyebrows when they’re stressed.
- They’re treating your dating chat as a dumping ground for links to interesting articles and videos, notes and thoughts on different topics, and reminders for future plans.
Why are we suddenly obsessed with beige flags?
If beige flags are not good or bad and are simply lukewarm, then why all the hype?
Just like with most internet trends, it’s hard to say where it started and why we’re so in love with it. There are two main theories regarding beige flags. First of all, we are all sick and tired of situationships, ghosting, zombieing, and one-sided relationships, and we desperately crave something positive, such as a golden retriever boyfriend or a beige flag.
Beige flags give us hope that not everything is bad about the people we meet online, and if something isn’t particularly exciting about our date, it doesn’t have to be terrible either.
Secondly, many see beige flags as a response to dating icks. Icks are the tiny things that repulse us in our partners. Anything can be an ick – the way they hold their fork, how they talk during sex, the way they carry themselves, particular phrases they use. A beige flag, in turn, is something nice or neutral, something that we don’t often celebrate or even notice. In that sense, beige flags are a beautiful trend. In the world of negativity, it’s important to continue to focus on the good things, and beige flags are a part of that spectrum.
Beige flags vs pink flags vs yellow flags
Pink and yellow flags are somewhat rivals. Many people use them interchangeably because they mean more or less the same things. Both pink and yellow flags are small, unfavorable traits of your otherwise perfect match. It’s the little things that cause you to tense up and be extra cautious, but not something dramatic enough for you to break up the relationship.
For instance, a pink or a yellow flag can be controlling behavior. It’s not bad enough to warrant serious concerns, but you definitely want to pay attention to it and see if it gets any worse before getting serious with the person. If your partner has pink and yellow flags, you can distance yourself a little bit from them with slow dating to give you enough space to see clearly and evaluate whether or not their pink flags are something you should address or be really concerned about. With beige flags, such precautions are completely unnecessary, as the traits and patterns of your partner are not threatening, but rather peculiar and cute.
Beige flags vs red flags
Red flags are full-on toxic traits that other people have and that you shouldn’t tolerate in dating. While many of us choose to ignore red flags or give excuses for them, in reality, they should be a deal breaker for the relationship, as they are rather serious and tend to worsen over time. An example of a red flag can be verbal abuse, gaslighting, lying, or cheating, but also seemingly minor things, such as ignoring your wishes and plans, disrespecting relationship boundaries from time to time, or being rude to waiters. Needless to say, beige flags are in a completely different category from red flags.
Beige flags vs green flags
Beige and green flags both sit in the positive category. Green flags are the ultimate signs that your journey of dating online has come to fruition. Both types of flags are welcome, but green flags are truly what a person needs to have for you two to be able to build a healthy relationship with them. The main distinction between green flags and beige flags is that the latter are not necessary or crucial for your romance, while green flags most definitely are.
Bottom line
Beige flags are neither good nor bad, for the most part. They’re simply there, and they’re one more reason to love and appreciate your partner and something to smile about when remembering them. They’re quirky and cute, and shouldn’t normally bother you. If they do though, follow the mindful dating principles and bring them up in a non-accusatory way. Chances are, your partner doesn’t even realize they have this pattern, and they’ll be happy to accommodate your needs or at least have an open conversation about it.
